I am not optimistic, I am not pessimistic, I AM REALISTIC !

I will not blame Sushant Singh Rajput for the extreme step he took.

we do not know the battles he was fighting outside and within.

often the enemies outside of us are easier to win but the inner demons multiply faster than cancer cells.

I as a daughter, sister, parent and friend offered counselling to help fight negativity at many stages. 

but I felt the resolve to talk more about it after I encountered the same in my house

My daughter is a very sensitive, kind and a giving human being.

she faced discrimination, exploitation and envy of the company she moves in.

Many times, she came back to me and cried, mom why do they do this to me. why do they bully me for my colour, for my hair?

why are my so-called friends unhappy and taunt me when I get good marks or I win a trophy in sports. They envy me even for having pets.

Somewhere I as a mother was victimising and humiliating her for underperformance in studies, I dumped my ambitions on her and bragged about it when she couldn’t meet my expectations, this added to the deteriorating self-concept.

I realised that all these were making her very pessimistic about life and the beauty of it, she felt it is worthless to live as nobody is happy with her and no one likes her.

she felt suffocated and stifled. She said she did not derive any joy out of life. it is stress, pain and hurt everywhere. Added to this there were teenage infatuations and betrayals.

Other than parents and home there is no safe and comfortable place. 

That’s when I realised the damage we were doing to her psyche.

I started speaking to her about harsh and rude facts of life

1. There are no best friends, people evolve, the dynamics change hence two people may not feel the same for each other forever and it is perfectly ok. Not just our friends but we all change.
2. We have to get into a fight or an argument only based on our ability to battle it out, never bank on somebody’s support before you start a battle
3. Accept that the world is an unfair place in the short term but in the long run, the wrong will be exposed as everyone cannot be fooled all the time.  
4. We might be chasing something now thinking it to be the ultimate happiness of our life but tomorrow the same object may become the reason for our downfall. so be happy when you don't get something you are very passionate about
5. In this larger scheme of things at play we don’t know what is good/bad for us. 
6. Look at life as an opportunity to serve. When all the ways to keep yourselves happy see a dead-end, realise that you are born to serve and not to seek.
7. By helping someone you are leaving an obligation on the creation, do not hesitate to offer help even if the one receiving is never returning it.
8. At the same time Never go out of the way to help anyone, do not indulge in self-deprivation, it is ok to fall in love, it is ok if someone cheats on you, betrayals sometimes come as a blessing.
9. Do not make a coterie of friends and limit your interactions to them only. Don’t be a part of a lobby, it will crush your individuality and your identity. Meet many people, listen to them, understand perspectives. Read, write, make opinions destroy them make newer ones, don’t be rigid, don’t have a fixed ideology, let everything evolve.  
10. It is better to fail than to be a bootlicker. If you deserve something, not even gods have the power to stop it from coming to you. What you think is good for you is not always good. Let things slip away. The job of Failure is to facilitate something big coming your way.
11. Do not submerge yourself under hype and expectations. “YOU CAN DO ” attitude is good but the best attitude is to be realistic. We all have limitations and strengths. Live in reality, do self-talk, allow the chaos within to settle down, be grounded in your head.
12. One of the easiest ways for your rivals to put you down is to separate you from your companions/friends/teammates “DIVIDE AND RULE”, but if you invested in people and relations, believe me, no one will leave your side. 
13. The second easiest way to put down a lady is “CHARACTER ASSASSINATION”. I have seen this happening with every second lady, if you cannot defeat her malign her, she will retreat. Do not fall to this ploy ever. The more they will try to put you down, stand your ground. Your resilience and strength will weaken them from within.

Dear Sushant

You were mistaken if you thought Karan Johar, Alia Bhatt nexus/lobby/coterie existed only in Bollywood. 

A Karan Johar/Alia Bhatt clone is running an unholy lobby of bootlickers in every big and small organisation.

The undeserving move up the ladder because

 they have learnt very early in life 

to play sidekicks, surrender their self-esteem, give up every trace of self-pride and ego for petty gains.

There are politics at every place where there is an assembly of more than 2 men.

Amidst all this, all you were required to do was work hard, remain focussed on your goals.

Online streaming channels were bringing a death knell to the big stars and big project from huge production houses.

Post covid19 era, there is no space for mega movies, even the megastars will vie for a space on the small screen.

you should have stayed back to see the Tamesha unfold.

This was your time to make a foray into the drawing rooms through web series.

Karan johar's and big khans of the world are going to be buried under their stardom in the days to come.

That vile fellow hosting nasty shows, making a mockery of others over coffee, giggling, gossiping and calculatedly creating questionnaires to put down others did not deserve the sacrifice you made. 

Creation was going to show him his true place in the days to come. Imagine the kind of legacy he will leave behind for his children; do you think a person can thrive on wealth alone.

Sushant You got buried under the hype you created around yourself as a star of 70 mm, built false expectations around yourself.

You know we all go through these suicidal phases, but what stops us is our loved ones, our dependants, as our life doesn’t belong just to us but to everyone associated with us, it is selfish to give up. It is ok to take a step back reassess the situation and start all over again.

It is NOT EASY to kill oneself and I am sure it all happened in a moment of weakness, see how the world has moved ON whereas you left behind infinite grief for your father. He will not be a normal person anymore. you should have lit his pyre and not vice versa.

It is a choice you made, a decision you took and as the audience of your cinema, all we can do is respect it.

Rest in peace Sushant, I hope you landed in a better place, but if you can manage, then do come into the dreams of people who are going through a similar phase to give them some courage to fight it out and not give up.

You in the lockdown as a child and as a Parent

You in the lockdown as a child and as a Parent
____________________________

Having personal space is essential for every person to blossom, in a stifling, restrictive environment even the most potential will not bloom.
Today's new era believes in keeping their personal space intact at every cost.
They don't like their phones or laptops being checked, they want their parents to trust them, allow them to make mistakes, learn from them and chart their path.
This lockdown at my home has been an extremely beautiful experience from a family perspective.
we had as much family time without compromising on The Me-time.
This past 3 months I cherished the beauty of having grown up children around. They are wise and intelligent but at the same time are gullible, and foolish. they read a wide variety of books, watch very interesting selective programs on multiple streaming platforms, discuss the plot, the narrative and an alternate ending too, just as stakeholders.

They are mature willing to discuss, debate and understand their absurdities. They are transparent but very strictly guard the boundaries they fabricated around themselves.
They give access but at the same time create restrictions for our foray beyond a point.
They experiment, make mistakes, but never let guilt dominate.
They share their fantasies and dreams however unrealistic and absurd it may sound without the fear of being judged.
we had fruitful individual journey along with a collective one as a family sharing the domestic work and caring for each other health wise.
Today's children are quite independent with a mind and choices of their own and I like it about them. It was easy spending the lockdown time as each one of us had access to what we enjoy doing the most during a break. There was no chaos as we were spaced out beautifully.
-------------------------------------
Now when I juxtapose the same to times I grew up in, it sounds like a nightmare if we had to remain homebound amidst a lockdown.
During our times there were no gaps as such between the parents and the kids but the personal space was an alien concept. Maybe this is one of the reasons we as parents have evolved and become a better version of our predecessors.
Our first complaint would have been about the restriction to go to Nani Ghar for the summer vacation.
Then With a house full of people, children fighting all the time, only 1 tv to watch, no laptops or any kind of gizmos other than a tape recorder or the rich kids having a Walkman.
Mother in the kitchen, father not sharing work at all, dominating mother in law, inquisitive neighbours, ever fighting children.
As kids, we fought with siblings as if they were our enemies. One of the reasons for the fights was the age gap factor. All the siblings were on an average 2 years apart from each other, which made them contenders in everything.
Food choices were limited. All of us had to eat whatever was served. No chips, cold drinks, maggie or a chicken tikka at our beck and call.
Biscuits were the highest form of indulgence. Chocolates too were a distant commodity as they were demonised as enemies of oral health.
Five-star chocolate came into homes maybe 4 to 5 times in a year.
The meat was once a week affair an egg was an alternate day thing, desserts were for festivals and special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or when guests came visiting.
No private space, most of the rooms had interconnecting doors, because houses were not constructed in a go, a room was added every now and then depending on the resources and requirements. So planned, designer homes were only for the super-rich.
The lockdown would have stifled us down. As the only activity known to kids then was to go out and play. Play till we injured our knees and bruised our elbows.
I cannot imagine father spending day and night at home without reading his favourite Eenadu newspaper for 70 consecutive days. all of us staying at home would have added to mother’s agony because we didn't know what to do at home as storybooks were always on a rotation mode. one book was read by the entire colony. given the strictly imposed lockdown borrowing, and lending would have been impossible. the best time pass was to knock down each other in a wrestling match,
The fights were mostly centred around who will control the remote, sleep next to the air cooler, or when dad asked for water who should go and help.
The only occasion when mothers face used to light up was reading an inland letter from her father, which would have been missing.
The father would have missed all the people visiting him every morning and evening for legal advice and suggestions. with the stock of fictions, he read exhausted in the first one month, and nowhere to go and buy a new book by his favourite Robert Ludlum, James Hadley chase or Jeffrey Archer, I wonder what he would have done at home.
when I try imagining spending the lockdown time in my town during the '80s, all I long to cherish are the small moments with Mother, father, siblings and a crossbreed as a pet all the time, the chaos, the fights and the limited resources.

COVID19 vs Humans of the Earth

COVID19 vs Humans of the Earth
____________________________

There were days when I wanted to stay home.
There were days when I wanted to spend time with family.
There were days when I did not want to do any work just be lazy.
There were days when I just felt like eating, watching tv and sleeping.
There were days when I wanted to spend time gardening and nothing else.
There were days when I wanted just the 4 of us plus the pets to stay together.
There were days where I wished to spend a day on personal grooming.
But now now now now now
All I want to do is go to work.
Do something else other than cooking, eating, reading and watching tv.
Entertainment beyond a point is nerve-wracking.
Life without a structure and discipline is chaos.
Let us pray for this lockdown to culminate into a positive outcome.
Either the virus kills all of us or we eliminate the virus.

If the stalemate between covid19 vs humans of the earth continues then, believe me, we are heading into a disaster.

Let us win this battle by staying put at home., by breaking the viruses backbone of jumping from human to human.
________________________
The virus is mocking us in the following way :

You foolish people
I can travel faster than your science and logic.
I am all over the earth now.
I caught a plane on a free ticket to reach every corner.
The only way for you to cut me out is to cut down your greed, arrogance and ego.
Overcome your weaknesses before making plans to eliminate me.
I am the new messenger of God.
Call me the dashavatar or the 10th avatar of Vishnu as Hindus call it.
____________________________________

Remember :

When Kalki descends on to this earth it will be the beginning of the end of life on earth and a new cycle of time will begin.

I am sure all the religions have a story to narrate on how life on earth is going to end.

This covid19 fits into the Hindu narrative.
The battle between a micro and a mega life form.
The micro is devoid of greed, lust and ego hence he can defeat the most intelligent creature of this universe.
The perfect textbook ending.

The virus is invisible, changing form, size, shape and the pattern of spread.
He is confusing us, making us fight with each other...
Putting us under lock down, Making us feel helpless, frustrated, impotent and useless...
All the BIG brains across the world put together haven't found medicine to kill it. The battle is on for the past 150 days.
Forces of the world are rallying to defeat it.
______________________
In treta yuga, in Lanka, the battle between ram and Ravan was fought for 13 days.
In dwapara yuga, the war of Kurukshetra between the Kauravas and Pandavas was fought for 18 days.
In both cases, dharma won over adharma. Right over wrong.
__________________

Between kovid19 vs humans of the earth, who is on the side of dharma?
Which is the corrupt and greedy party here?
Don't we know the answer?
Will we lose the battle to it?

We may not lose it in a go but lose it by an inch a day.
Like treta and dwapra yuga, the final battle will not be counted in days but in months and years.
have we reached a point of no return?
Certainly not as of now, but if we do not understand the seriousness of the battle we are fighting then certainly we are giving more space to covid19.
we give it a millimetre and in no time it will capture a percentage of the population of that locality.
The rich will die but their near and dear will live regretting not doing much to prevent the virus from entering their homes.
the poor will die but their kith and kin will recover as they will get busy searching for the next meal, cannot waste time brooding...
The religious preachers will die surrendering their gods to the science in the end.
The arrogant and careless will fall first.
The corrupt and greedy will fall next.
The high and mighty will follow the suit.

Slowly in a phased manner all of us will go.
Only the wise will remain, only the givers will remain, only the selfless will remain.

Are you one of them?
Do you want to survive?
Do you want your family to survive?
Then DO NOT ACT STUPID...
do not make comments like
”HUMKO KUCH NAHI HOGA”, HUMARA BHAGWAN/ALLAH BACHAYEGA.

do not put others life at risk for your selfish personal goals.
Everything can wait...

BLOODY HELL, for now, FOLLOW THE RULES.
FIGHT COVID19 not each other.

let us die a respectable death, not a helpless one.

© copy right #SANGEETAREDDY

A Working Women/Wife/Employer and a mother's perspective on the lockdown ____________________________

A Working Women/Wife/Employer and a mother's perspective on the lockdown
____________________________

I went into shower came out within minutes opened the wardrobe and grabbed the first Kurti I could lay my hand's on, did not spend any time on selecting the matching leggings.

The decision of what to wear to work every day consumed a minimum of 15 minutes, so on an average of 6 hours was wasted per month on selecting the dress to wear for the day.

By saving on the parlour bill and time spent on it made me realise that I look equally beautiful with grey hair, scattered eyebrows and no facial.

A good stressfree sleep makes more sense than getting the face scrubbed with unknown chemicals packed into boxes labelled as (natural products).

Time spent in front of the mirror is less than 10 minutes per day.
savings on cosmetics, shampoos, perfumes and various other useless toiletries is a bonus as this lockdown has taught me minimalism.
____________
The fake jewellery in my vault is taunting the diamond jewellery:
In the given circumstances both of us hold the same value, we are equally redundant so stop having that superiority complex.
maybe she will consider investing on me in future and regret investing on you if this lockdown continues.

the pyjamas, nightgowns and kaftans in the outer cupboard are mocking at the kanjivarams and Banaras sarees: your turn is not going to come anytime soon, these are our days to see the sun and moon, shut your folds and stay locked.

I guess most of us are having more clothes than we need. I can survive on the existing wardrobe for the next 3 decades.
_____________

The silver cutlery is ignored, steel partition plates(my son refers to them as prison plates) have come out as there are no guests no maids no help to maintain them.
___________
The online shopping sites made me buy stuff which was never a need but always wants.
A break from work on a regular working day was about browsing the online shopping sites, adding useless items to the basket and ultimately placing the order because of COD facility.
No stress of paying immediately makes us buy more than what we need that's the reason sites which offer COD do more business than others which do not offer the same option.
____________________
Homebound: No travelling, no fuel consumption, no hurling expletives randomly at strangers on the road for traffic violations. GOOD FOR MENTAL HEALTH AND THE HEALTH OF THE ENVIRONMENT.
____________________________
For all those who wanted to be left alone
Hope this 40 days might have been good enough time to reflect upon.....

For those of you who were stressed out on commuting to work
hope this WFH came as a good break......

For all those Men/Women missing spending time with spouse,
hope this break has taken away that complaint...

For the spouses who value having husband by the side over he going out to earning a livelihood are now enjoying his company without any regret over the lost opportunity of earning a livelihood......

_______________

It is good that most of us have
Lost track of day and night, Date and week.
I think never in the eternity the families will be this closer.

Never in the future will we be tested for "HOW GIVING" we can be, especially from an entrepreneurs point of view.
Never will we get this amount of time to do self-introspection on how thankless and ungrateful we were to people and relations.
________________
I am loving the fights in my house
on which movie to watch
on who will make the bed
on what to cook for lunch
on who will clean the kitchen platform.

I love the way children have started taking interest in our finances, the way they check on us in the night.
I love the way they discuss the virus, the way they are concerned about the well being of our family distributed across the globe.
They keep asking me, can we meet all the salaries ? can we take care of everyone especially their favourite bhaiyya's (employees) families.
____________

And for all those of you missing the routine :

PLEASE REMEMBER "THIS TOO SHALL PASS", THE OLD CHAOS IS WAITING FOR US AT THE NEXT BEND OF THIS DRIVE.
don't lose hope. faith is what can keep us going.
Remember we wid not fall victim to COVID19 BECAUSE WE STILL HAVE AN UNSERVED PURPOSE.
We are an important piece of the jigsaw puzzle called "creation".
let us tesselate together to complete it.
___________________________
Finally, this lockdown made me realise that we are all ticking time bombs. I need to get my priorities right.
I was silly for a long time......
chased goals which added no meaning to my life, hated people who did not matter in any way, accumulated things which served no purpose in an emergency.
Presuming to endure this level of consciousness after I go back to living a normal life one year down the lane.
_________________________________

सिपाही हूँ , ऐ ज़िन्दगी

सिपाही हूँ , ऐ ज़िन्दगी
ये खेल तुम्ही से सीखा हूँ

हथियार नहीं फेंकूँगा ,आखरी साँस तक लड़ूंगा
तुम तो खेल के परिणाम से अवगत हो
मेरा तो विश्वास और साहस का पुकार है

तुम कल को देख सकते हो, परख सकते हो
मेरे कदम फिर भी नहीं लड़खड़ायेंगे
ये मेहनत बोल रहा है , हिम्मत बोल रहा हैं
लगाओ अपना सारा दम मुझे हराने में ।
धर्म राज ,शकुनि , शिखण्डी
अपनाओ चाहे किसी कीं भी कूटनीति
कृष्ण के कर्म सिद्धांतों को मानता हूँ
वाकिफ हूँ तुम्हारे हर दाव  पेच से
तैयार हूँ ,चलो खेलो अपना अगला चाल
Dedicated to Indian Air Force

blossom ahead of others !

People will try to crush you
humiliate you
gang up against you
poke you, irritate you
Create situations to obstruct your path
Subvert your opportunities of visibility
Will project themselves as taller than you.
most of the times
this is done by the people around you
but none of this should stop you
from shining bright,
not the lobby, not the unholy nexus
not the thorns, not the tall branches
If you believe in yourself
and if you spend time in
empowering your inner and outer self
my friend, your turn shall come
when you too will shine bright like this rose
blossom ahead of others !

 

तुम्हारे साथ ज़िंदगी चाहती हूँ

हाथो में लखीर बनके

तुम्हारी तक़दीर बनके

नींद में सपना बनके

दिल की धड़कन बनके



सांसो में खुश्बू बनके

तुमहरी सोच बनके

आँखों में चैन बनके

घम में आँसू बनके

अरमान बनके , ख्वाहिश बनके

एहसास बनके, उमीद बनके

रूह में समा जाना चाहती हूँ
तुम्हारे अंदर जीना चाहते हूँ
तुममे झलकना चाहती हूँ

अपने लिए एक पहचान चाहती हूँ

तुम्हारे साथ ज़िंदगी चाहती हूँ