Feelings or Needs: What pushes us towards people?

 Feelings or Needs: What pushes us towards people?

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There was a time when family size was large. A father had eight or ten siblings, and a mother had an equal number of siblings/cousins.

And, as witnessed, not all siblings have progressed equally in life. Some became financially secure early in life, while others struggled to make ends meet.

The less fortunate expected support from those who had prospered. The successful did help, sometimes generously , but after years and decades, fatigue set in. The expectations never seemed to end. On the other hand, those who received help often felt that family should never stop supporting family.

Both sides had their own truths… no debate on that.

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Many relationships slowly faded not because there was no love, but because there were too many expectations sometimes from one party and sometimes from both sides..

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Today, I believe the situation is very different.

Most families have one or two, or at most 3, children. Parents work hard to educate all of them.

Most middle-class and upper-middle-class families are reasonably secure with all the kids doing relatively well.

Siblings are no longer dependent on each other, and they do not visit each other's homes because they are hungry, need our money, or they want to take away our belongings/status.

They come because they care for us and they want to preserve the relationship

And yet, relationships continue to crack. Why?

Because the struggle has changed. Earlier, it was about survival. Today, it is about comparison.

Who earns more? Who has a bigger house? Whose children are doing better? Who dresses better? Who is more successful? Social media has only added fuel to this silent competition.

The saddest part is that this competition is not with strangers. It is with siblings. With cousins.With close friends. With people who should have been our biggest cheerleaders.

Competition is healthy in business. It pushes companies to innovate. It is healthy in sports. It inspires excellence. But competition within the family slowly destroys Mohabbat.

You never truly win when your own people become your rivals.

Our siblings/cousins/relatives do not want our money, gifts or expensive hospitality. Most people simply want to feel respected and welcomed. They want to know that their presence matters.

And above all else, they want someone who values their time.

Time has become the rarest resource in modern life. Money can be earned again.

Possessions can be replaced, but time never returns.

So when someone spends an evening with you, visits your home, or simply chooses your company over countless other commitments, remember they have given you something priceless.

Let us honour that gift N stop measuring our lives against those we love.

Let us become each other's refuge rather than each other's competition. Because in today's world, people rarely come to our homes looking for our wealth. They come looking for warmth. And honestly , that is the richest gift any of us can offer.

*Someday, when we run out of LUCK, the emotions/relations we invest in will repay us with interest.*

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The Pic is from the Theatrical masterpiece "Humare ram." I worship not just Ram and Sita, but the entire family. Spend your time and money on this show. It adds so much value to one's life.

Watched in the company friends Deepa Priya and Aruna Raprolu

#humareram