You in the lockdown as a child and as a Parent
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Having personal space is essential for every person to blossom, in a stifling, restrictive environment even the most potential will not bloom.
Today's new era believes in keeping their personal space intact at every cost.
They don't like their phones or laptops being checked, they want their parents to trust them, allow them to make mistakes, learn from them and chart their path.
This lockdown at my home has been an extremely beautiful experience from a family perspective.
we had as much family time without compromising on The Me-time.
This past 3 months I cherished the beauty of having grown up children around. They are wise and intelligent but at the same time are gullible, and foolish. they read a wide variety of books, watch very interesting selective programs on multiple streaming platforms, discuss the plot, the narrative and an alternate ending too, just as stakeholders.
Today's new era believes in keeping their personal space intact at every cost.
They don't like their phones or laptops being checked, they want their parents to trust them, allow them to make mistakes, learn from them and chart their path.
This lockdown at my home has been an extremely beautiful experience from a family perspective.
we had as much family time without compromising on The Me-time.
This past 3 months I cherished the beauty of having grown up children around. They are wise and intelligent but at the same time are gullible, and foolish. they read a wide variety of books, watch very interesting selective programs on multiple streaming platforms, discuss the plot, the narrative and an alternate ending too, just as stakeholders.
They are mature willing to discuss, debate and understand their absurdities. They are transparent but very strictly guard the boundaries they fabricated around themselves.
They give access but at the same time create restrictions for our foray beyond a point.
They experiment, make mistakes, but never let guilt dominate.
They share their fantasies and dreams however unrealistic and absurd it may sound without the fear of being judged.
we had fruitful individual journey along with a collective one as a family sharing the domestic work and caring for each other health wise.
Today's children are quite independent with a mind and choices of their own and I like it about them. It was easy spending the lockdown time as each one of us had access to what we enjoy doing the most during a break. There was no chaos as we were spaced out beautifully.
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Now when I juxtapose the same to times I grew up in, it sounds like a nightmare if we had to remain homebound amidst a lockdown.
During our times there were no gaps as such between the parents and the kids but the personal space was an alien concept. Maybe this is one of the reasons we as parents have evolved and become a better version of our predecessors.
Our first complaint would have been about the restriction to go to Nani Ghar for the summer vacation.
Then With a house full of people, children fighting all the time, only 1 tv to watch, no laptops or any kind of gizmos other than a tape recorder or the rich kids having a Walkman.
Mother in the kitchen, father not sharing work at all, dominating mother in law, inquisitive neighbours, ever fighting children.
As kids, we fought with siblings as if they were our enemies. One of the reasons for the fights was the age gap factor. All the siblings were on an average 2 years apart from each other, which made them contenders in everything.
Food choices were limited. All of us had to eat whatever was served. No chips, cold drinks, maggie or a chicken tikka at our beck and call.
Biscuits were the highest form of indulgence. Chocolates too were a distant commodity as they were demonised as enemies of oral health.
Five-star chocolate came into homes maybe 4 to 5 times in a year.
The meat was once a week affair an egg was an alternate day thing, desserts were for festivals and special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or when guests came visiting.
No private space, most of the rooms had interconnecting doors, because houses were not constructed in a go, a room was added every now and then depending on the resources and requirements. So planned, designer homes were only for the super-rich.
The lockdown would have stifled us down. As the only activity known to kids then was to go out and play. Play till we injured our knees and bruised our elbows.
I cannot imagine father spending day and night at home without reading his favourite Eenadu newspaper for 70 consecutive days. all of us staying at home would have added to mother’s agony because we didn't know what to do at home as storybooks were always on a rotation mode. one book was read by the entire colony. given the strictly imposed lockdown borrowing, and lending would have been impossible. the best time pass was to knock down each other in a wrestling match,
The fights were mostly centred around who will control the remote, sleep next to the air cooler, or when dad asked for water who should go and help.
The only occasion when mothers face used to light up was reading an inland letter from her father, which would have been missing.
The father would have missed all the people visiting him every morning and evening for legal advice and suggestions. with the stock of fictions, he read exhausted in the first one month, and nowhere to go and buy a new book by his favourite Robert Ludlum, James Hadley chase or Jeffrey Archer, I wonder what he would have done at home.
when I try imagining spending the lockdown time in my town during the '80s, all I long to cherish are the small moments with Mother, father, siblings and a crossbreed as a pet all the time, the chaos, the fights and the limited resources.
They give access but at the same time create restrictions for our foray beyond a point.
They experiment, make mistakes, but never let guilt dominate.
They share their fantasies and dreams however unrealistic and absurd it may sound without the fear of being judged.
we had fruitful individual journey along with a collective one as a family sharing the domestic work and caring for each other health wise.
Today's children are quite independent with a mind and choices of their own and I like it about them. It was easy spending the lockdown time as each one of us had access to what we enjoy doing the most during a break. There was no chaos as we were spaced out beautifully.
-------------------------------------
Now when I juxtapose the same to times I grew up in, it sounds like a nightmare if we had to remain homebound amidst a lockdown.
During our times there were no gaps as such between the parents and the kids but the personal space was an alien concept. Maybe this is one of the reasons we as parents have evolved and become a better version of our predecessors.
Our first complaint would have been about the restriction to go to Nani Ghar for the summer vacation.
Then With a house full of people, children fighting all the time, only 1 tv to watch, no laptops or any kind of gizmos other than a tape recorder or the rich kids having a Walkman.
Mother in the kitchen, father not sharing work at all, dominating mother in law, inquisitive neighbours, ever fighting children.
As kids, we fought with siblings as if they were our enemies. One of the reasons for the fights was the age gap factor. All the siblings were on an average 2 years apart from each other, which made them contenders in everything.
Food choices were limited. All of us had to eat whatever was served. No chips, cold drinks, maggie or a chicken tikka at our beck and call.
Biscuits were the highest form of indulgence. Chocolates too were a distant commodity as they were demonised as enemies of oral health.
Five-star chocolate came into homes maybe 4 to 5 times in a year.
The meat was once a week affair an egg was an alternate day thing, desserts were for festivals and special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or when guests came visiting.
No private space, most of the rooms had interconnecting doors, because houses were not constructed in a go, a room was added every now and then depending on the resources and requirements. So planned, designer homes were only for the super-rich.
The lockdown would have stifled us down. As the only activity known to kids then was to go out and play. Play till we injured our knees and bruised our elbows.
I cannot imagine father spending day and night at home without reading his favourite Eenadu newspaper for 70 consecutive days. all of us staying at home would have added to mother’s agony because we didn't know what to do at home as storybooks were always on a rotation mode. one book was read by the entire colony. given the strictly imposed lockdown borrowing, and lending would have been impossible. the best time pass was to knock down each other in a wrestling match,
The fights were mostly centred around who will control the remote, sleep next to the air cooler, or when dad asked for water who should go and help.
The only occasion when mothers face used to light up was reading an inland letter from her father, which would have been missing.
The father would have missed all the people visiting him every morning and evening for legal advice and suggestions. with the stock of fictions, he read exhausted in the first one month, and nowhere to go and buy a new book by his favourite Robert Ludlum, James Hadley chase or Jeffrey Archer, I wonder what he would have done at home.
when I try imagining spending the lockdown time in my town during the '80s, all I long to cherish are the small moments with Mother, father, siblings and a crossbreed as a pet all the time, the chaos, the fights and the limited resources.
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