STOP WAITING, START GROWING!

 STOP WAITING, START GROWING!

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Recently I calculated the number of minutes we wives waste in waiting for the husband to attend to their menial daily chores—@10 minimum minutes per day. Sixty hours a year are spent just sitting and waiting doing zilch.

I serve breakfast and wait, serve lunch and wait, serve dinner and wait, wait for him to come out of the office, wait for him to go to the office, wait for him to go for a morning walk, wait for him to get ready to go to a party, wait for him to leave the party, wait for him all the time.

Precisely this is the story of most of the women.

We expend our time waiting because we don't value our time.

So I have now started eating before he does, leaving for work when I am ready, taking a cab to the airport/station, and returning from the party early if staying late doesn't suit me.

To be a good wife, you needn't wait for him to eat before you or eat with you. It should be a matter of convenience for both partners.

Service to your husband or family should not hinder or hamper your individual goals. You will be respected and admired if you value yourself as much as you love the relations.

The sanskari Nari brigade will jump in to give you advice, lectures, Gyan on the duties and responsibilities of a good wife.

A week ago, something similar happened when I was on a pilgrimage with a couple of older women, where the seniormost started taunting me for not wearing toe rings, mangal sutra and bangles.

The Foolish I initially started justifying it, saying it is inconvenient on a train to wear jewellery and sleep. Also, trek to the temple town in shoes with toe rings isn't comfortable.

And then I got into the realignment of my mission of women empowerment, gave her a compelling, persuasive and detailed explanation:

A Good wife's abilities lie in shouldering the responsibilities of running the family, accepting his family, parents, sibling as her own, integrating with his friends, extended family. Taking care of his commitments, Liabilities, standing by him when the world doesn't believe in him give him courage and confidence to chase his dreams. Tell him to not worry about the home front.

A beautiful well-adorned, fearful wife may be good for display, for massaging the ego, for fulfilling the superstitious fears built around some meaningless chains and beads. But a lady full of confidence and grit can do wonders for the family.

I believe in standing by my husband like a pillar, helping him lean and relax when he is tired and defeated.

I don't make sketches to distance him from his parents, crib to him about his relations, bill him excessively for makeup, designer clothes and ornaments.

I said I am with you on this pilgrimage now but made all the arrangements for comfort back home without compromising my desire to travel solo with you on this challenging journey.

Thankfully She nodded in agreement.

I would urge women not to degrade themselves to decorated dolls in the guise of sanskari Nari. If you demote yourself, the surroundings will crush you further. Men who enforce the idea of a decorated doll don't believe in women as equal partners. Either it is an extreme love for the wife or male chauvinism, and believe me, both are dangerous.

Women should get equal freedom to choose how they want to live without people dictating what they should be doing as a good wife or a good daughter in law. And buy me on this, women who get freedom perform much better than those submerged in rules and norms.

A liberated woman will act with responsibility, A caged woman will slyly, connivingly work against the family unit.

More than men, we women need to stand for each other because the world will not end with us; we will have daughters going as daughters-in-law to some other homes and somebody's daughters coming to our homes as our darling daughters-in-law.

Let us make the world a better place for women, let us value ourselves if we wish to be respected by our surroundings, let us raise our boys well, let us become the best mothers and mothers-in-law, and soon our DIL's will start emulating us. We need someone to take charge and establish a benchmark. Let us be the harbingers of the change.

Stop waiting - Start growing.