It's time to bring food processors, dishwashers, rumbas and vacuum cleaners to the vanguard

 The covid years saw a massive turnover of domestic helps in my house.

My permanent help left at the peak of COVID-19 to take care of her parents and then apparently married her longtime boyfriend, to whom she was introduced via missed call or wrong number.

._________

All the girls who worked in metro cities and had to return during COVID-19 beginning in 2020 took shelter in my house for a month or two. With every intermittent Travel relaxation, they flew back to their high-paying jobs in metros. 

Restaurants, the homes of television actors, and IT couples hire them with big pay. The girls fancy these big cities. Moreover, the agencies that recruit them send them tickets. They speak English phrases and own expensive smartphones and toiletries. They maintain a good standard of living, many notch up compared to the girls who work in towns.

 It is heartening to see girls embrace economic freedom, though some tread it responsibly, some with gay abandon and some realistically.

 Some have taken me for a ride in the past two years. 

________________

The girls. When forced to retreat to their homes in Bastis, they couldn't adjust nicely to the native homes devoid of Western commodes and sprays,  so they started taking shelter wherever they could live in the towns.

Some landed in my abode looking for work, concealing their plans of flying back to their metro jobs once the air was clear of the virus.

They were fretting about waiting for a call from their agency. Their first demand was a WIFI password; my first demand was a year-long commitment, and both agreed.

They never told me that I was the stop-gap arrangement. None lasted beyond two months; Mantri Saheb used to come on TV to announce the lifting travel restrictions. These girls would come to me with a cooked-up story of a bereavement in the family and then fly directly to Mumbai, Delhi or Bangalore. The agent would send tickets on mobile, and girls used to abandon me mercilessly. It happened five times in two COVID years. One of the girls was waiting to elope and get married but had to seek shelter in my house due to coronavirus guidelines.

Nonetheless, she married in Sevoke temple and flew back to Mumbai as a man and wife. Their combined earning is Rs 50000/month, as domestic help in a TV serial director's house. Working in such homes gives them access to fancy jewellery, makeup and costumes, presenting a feeling of elevation from their grassroots.

As recently as last week, the help went home saying there was an emergency. A cousin died; I helped her pack the bag, gave her money, dropped her at the bus stop, brought her ticket, and stood under the scorching sun till her bus left the station. I did it less out of love for her and more as an appeal, a request to return, to not abandon me.

She followed in the footsteps of her predecessors, never to return; interestingly, she went back to her beauty parlour course. She was waiting for parlours to become operational and the training centres to resume classes. My home was a makeshift arrangement. My home became a referral centre in their network.

I got worked up with all this exploitation and tried contacting the agency to take their services.

The agency refused to entertain local clients as we pay less, and girls too prefer working far away from home. Some girls fear people from home harassing them for money and demanding frequent visits. 

_________

I reached a dead-end finding ways to hire 24-hour domestic help; hence, I resorted to part-timers. The part-timer is my age and can fully empathise with a working mom's agony of running home, as she too has to come to work, leaving her kids at home.

Now that I am implementing and distributing the burden of running the kitchen/laundry to my family, they are pretty annoyed.

The husband blamed me for not retaining the girls, calling me inefficient in handling the workforce. I shouted back at him, saying I have a track record of each girl working with me for not less than four years; blame corona, not me, and I blame you, doctors, for not eliminating the virus that is causing chaos and havoc in homes dependant on 24/7 help.

The daughter watching us fight intervened and said, "Mom, I guess you married the wrong man"?

The son said, "She knows that; say something new, preesha." 

She said no, I don't mean Dad is a bad guy

I want to say that Mother should have married a guy who owns a placement agency. He would have found domestic help for her and maybe jobs for us, too. Marrying a doctor was wrong, Mommy; you still have time.

__________

 I was about to burst into laughter, but I hid it. I left the room to resume cleaning diyas for Hanuman Jayanti puja.

_____

It's time to bring food processors, dishwashers, rumbas and vacuum cleaners to the vanguard. It's the juncture to become less dependent on a third person to care for our homes.

_________

This trip of mine, too, is in pursuit of one such addiction, Preesha!

 March first week is always loaded with events to celebrate women empowerment.

This year too, for the 8th March afternoon, I received an invitation to attend a women's day event. As the program was in a mall, I asked the daughter to join me.

Preesha jumped in, saying she could spend time at a bookstore while I attended the event.

A day before, too, I was at another women's day event hosted by Raggnee Agarwaal

While we were driving to the place, she asked me: mom, what do these events mean to you?

Every year, you get busy around 8th march speaking on women empowerment, whereas you at home ask all of our permission to go on a three day holiday.

Don't you feel disempowered seeking approval from children, husband, maids, pets, like now when you are willing to go on pilgrimage with Neeru aunty, you are so stuck here because of my upcoming board exams.

She continued, on the one hand, you preach about fundamental rights for women, you talk about how every female should have the right to choose her life goals and methods to reach there. And look at your double standards here seeking approval from family to go on a spiritual sojourn.

_______

I paused for a moment played with the car stereo as her questions made me uncomfortable.

I took a deep breath to frame my answer; I try to be very careful while speaking to her because, as a mother, I will be setting an example for her to emulate in the future.

I said :

Someone has to do my job when I am not around; hence I seek your permission to outsource my responsibilities and hold you accountable. I am sorted if you take care of pets, garden, kitchen, and maids.

But these days, I am also worried about your exams. I know you can manage. But there will be bizarre onlookers judging me for going on a pilgrimage two months before her daughter's boards.

I can hear the murmurs behind my back :

HAA, what an irresponsible mother, imperfect parenting, mother gallivanting around before her daughter's boards. shame on her etc. etc

_________

Maa, again double standards; why should you worry about what the world has to say.

If the problem is my exams, then it is between you and me, and now that I am asking you to join Neeru aunty, you should go.

If your problem is the world, then I don't appreciate your thought process at all, and By the way, if I do well in exams, it is good for me, and I know that my failure and success is my responsibility, not yours or anyone else's.

I need you around without a doubt, but I will be happy if you cater to your needs along with taking care of mine.

And what is this obsession with temples? Why don't you go to Maldives, Greece or Goa?

I said: I feel rejuvenated when I soak in the energy around spiritual places. I know this is a passing phase; I will soon outgrow this need once I uncover the answers to my questions.

You know, last year, at the holy shrine of Vaishno Devi, one of the fellow pilgrims once narrated how he has started feeling disconnected from spiritual places. After visiting all the Hindu places of worship, the wisdom he derived was to seek God within.

Then I prodded him on why he was visiting Vaishno Devi for the Third time?

His reply made me happy; he said, "I just came to give my wife company". Like you, she is also searching for God in the temples.

I said I am not here purely in pursuit of or love of God; I have selfish reasons. I came here out of fear, greed and thankfulness in equal proportions.

He said you would evolve soon.

________

So mom, do you think you have evolved in this one year of whirlwind tours to multiple temples?

I answered her back with a question.

So finally, can I go preesha, On a four-day break?

She said, go, momy go, live your life!

________

Teerath yatra is not a comfortable luxury holiday; one has to stand in a long queue, use unhygienic public toilets, may get lost in an unknown town, exploited by fake pandits. The challenges are manifold in every temple town.

During my childhood, I have seen many women(widows) and retired couples getting into tightly packed yatra buses to escape into a month-long pilgrimage in the company of strangers to faraway destinations.

On their return, the entire village used to gather to take the prasadam, collect souvenirs and listen to the fantastic stories of the pilgrimage. Each visitor returned home with a single dream in their eyes to someday visit char Dham, go to Kashi and bathe in the Ganges at Haridwar.

Tirupati and Shirdi are the shrines that people in south India accomplish once in their lifetime. The ultimate destination is crossing the Godavari, surpassing Narmada, reaching Ganga and ending it in Gangasagar.

______

Watching my grandparents and mother-in-law take long voyages into faraway lands seeking divine grace has influenced me.

In the recent past, I made a mockery of my Sister-in-law Manitha Reddy when she repeated her visits to India from the USA to seek shelter in ashrams for days together. She became an expert in doing yajna, Japa and mantra. She is engulfed in bhakti now and thus delegated all her happiness and sorrows to the divine.

As Srila Prabhupada calls it, "The nectar of devotion" I guess this nectar, once tasted, converts EVERYONE into an ADDICT.

Only the blessed get a taste of it once during their lifetime;

This trip of mine, too, is in pursuit of one such addiction, Preesha!

-------------

I know I am swimming against the tide when it comes to parenting.

But I need to break these stereotypes that children are only mothers' responsibility.

-------

I am thankful to my friends for helping me and being my companions in visiting various temples across the length and breadth of India.

Aruna Raprolu, Neeru Sharma . Shakuntla Shekhawat Vani Reddy Archana Rachmale

THERE IS NO TOMORROW!"

 Pain born out of separation squeezes the heart dry and leaves it out in the open on the clothesline to dry. The dried heart flutters, gasping for air. No one in the surroundings looks trustworthy; all appear like cheaters depriving the heart of its happiness.

______

The sudden, unanticipated loss of a dear one makes all of us numb and sceptical of the designs of this creation.

It transports the mourners collectively into a vacuum flying aimlessly, colliding with each other looking for a purpose, for answers.

Each one of us peeks into the other's eyes with the same doubts.

How frail, frugal and fragile is Life?

Will our loved ones meet the same fate someday?

________

All of us in the crowd for a moment juxtaposed ourselves with the bereaved family member.

We travel to the point where our loved one is lying on the floor like a dead body; brave ones go a step further and maybe imagine a funeral too.

But beyond that, it is all dark, scary and directionless. Tears roll down the cheeks unknowingly. That's when the actual pain of loss hits us. In others' pain, we reflect on our future; all of us do it impulsively.

We see our tomorrow by placing ourselves in the family of the grieving. Death in surroundings makes us paranoid.

We instantly travel back from our imagination to the present, and suddenly, we count our blessings. A feeling of gratitude, forgiveness, and love envelops us.

____________________

I wish death gave all of us a second chance to live, to play that one tail ended over, to kick that match-winning goal, to pass on some wisdom to kids, feed that reassuring hug to the spouse, take care of parents to fulfilment!

How I desire Life came with a fixed alarm snoozing every few days when we near the endgame.

Alas, Life comes with a limited period offer like a commodity on the shelf, but Life outfoxes us at the game of deceit by tactfully Shielding the expiry date! Life abandons us the moment we desire a little more of it; how disloyal!

_______________

Gone too soon, Dr Shailesh Kumar Jha bhaiyya.

Like in your Life, Even in your death, you have awakened this city to the importance of personal healthcare!

Bhaiyya, You lived a life like THERE IS NO TOMORROW!"

rs

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𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗮 : 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗞𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗔 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗥𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗔.

 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗮: 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗞𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗔 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗥𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗔.

________________________________

Today is the tenth day of the war, and I don't feel the urge to watch News 12 hours a day like the past week. The images of death and destruction aren't as impactful as on day one.

Maybe this is how 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 we slowly start accepting and assimilating anguish as a part of the war.

The indifference of a section of the world has made the superpower nations succeed in tormenting and crushing the weaker ones for decades now from west to east.

Small countries often get crushed in the 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐠𝐨 and supremacy between 2 giants.

Exuberant, overzealous nations are breaching the borders on the pretext that neighbours are turning rogue under the influence of the former's enemies.

Crushing the weaker nations and smothering them with boots on their faces has become a routine in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Libya, Yemen, and Ukraine.

___________

India is a land of Dharma, built on the foundations of fighting the righteous wars, standing with the weak, supporting the 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 is now looking the other way when vulnerable nations are pleading for help.

𝐈𝐬 𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 "𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐚" 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚 (𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐚)?

The 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐚 syndrome is justified if we desire an end like KARNA'S, but are we unwilling to surpassthe odds and win it like 𝐀𝐑𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐀?

__________

We are a nation of outstanding merit and talent. Yet, we are letting the favours received in the past, some anticipated assistance in the future, colour our outlook and cloud rational thinking in contemporary times.

There is no denying that there are only permanent interests in geopolitics, no enduring friends or enemies.

But there is something above personal interests to protect; Arjuna fought against his family, teachers, and friends to uphold the same values of 𝐃𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀.

It is time we take a stand against what is 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆!

Maybe the SUPREME leader is waiting for our children to return home and then will assert against the mayhem and devastation caused by the mindless transgressions of the border by Russia.

___________

We handled Doklam independently; we are taking China on the Arunachal front. If we assert our position today as a nation with a mind of its own, not skewing towards east or west and only standing with what is right, I think we will reach our 𝐀𝐑𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐀 moment, 𝐊𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐍𝐀 𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 guiding us.

The fear of not receiving support from Russia and its allies when we land up in difficult times in the future is a little unwarranted, considering the treatment Russia is receiving from the rest of the world.

In today's world, we may not find 𝐊𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐍𝐀 physically to guide us, but the boundless wisdom he left for us can help us find a way out of our dilemmas.

The teachings are a storehouse of moral, ethical and life-changing lessons that can elevate a man's life from chaos to cosmos.

The essence of Kurukshetra stands as a pole star to humanity which guides and 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐍𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞, .𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝.

____________________

A good charioteer greatly expedites the warrior's prowess & vice versa.

India's charioteers 𝐒.𝐉𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐣𝐢𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐥

should design strategies to save us from future fatal battles with giants like Bhishma(China) by enabling us to empower ourselves.

𝐊𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐧𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐧𝐚, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

Let us become the Arjuna.

_________

𝗜𝗳 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗕𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀 (𝗥𝘂𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗮𝘀) 𝗞𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗮 𝗞𝗮𝗻𝗱, 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝘂𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗥𝗮𝗺𝗮 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝗴𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮, 𝗕𝗮𝗹𝗶'𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸, 𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.

______

The onus lies on the powerful to protect the weaker; you can rebuke the wrongdoer, but destroying something built over the years only makes one a sadist, self-centred maniac.

______

Our 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐌 is getting centred over siding with Modi Ji's decisions. We are just swaying in favour of everything the centre is doing as part of our 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 responsibility, which is correct.

But sometimes, becoming self-critical and asking essential questions on humanity should take precedence over our 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐦.

______

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬. 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.

REST IN PEACE JAYA AMMA

 

Sangeeta Reddy

Deciempb4er68 6ho, hs206d16  · Siliguri  · 

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4/12/16

Tears rolled down my cheeks, when she was singing aaja sanam madur chandini mein hum tum.... I could peek into her soul. I replayed her interview again n again, to be with her , to feel her pain...

Daughter: mom why are you crying, you have told me so many times that we all have to leave one day. And your mom also left you, but please, you don't leave me, at least be alive till i celebrate my 50th birthday......

Her innocence made me smile

and then she says mom, ammamma (ammas amma, is ammamma maternal grandmother) and jaya amma look like sisters. (Though my daughter saw my mom only in photographs).

And the man echoed her observation. I started looking at amma like my own amma and started praying more intensely for her survival.

5/12/16

Daughter: mom today in the history class we were taught about vallabacharya and chaitanya... and their bhakti movement. chaitanya maharprabhu according to her text books made images of his own Krishna and worshipped him. In her understanding , he created his own Krishna .

Motivated with the new knowledge she decided to draw her own god , name him and wanted him to listen to her more than anyone else , as she is his creator, and her first wish would be to get jaya amma back to perfect health. I loved her innocence. I loved her desire to help me feel better. I loved her kindness and her smartness in interpreting the idea of creating her own god. But no god could prolong ammas life and she left us after we retired for the night .

I have one daughter; but jayamma has won many daughters like me who can feel for her as a woman.

6/12/16

She leaves for the school with grief after taking an update on jaya amma.

In the evening She comes back from school and her first question is how you are? , I : I am ok, she reached my mother, and may be they are talking about all of us. Maybe they are having good time, old age club you know . she smiled happily.

Her second question is who will be the new cm ?

I said o.panneeraselvan

She: what?

I: o. paneer+ cell +one

She : Ohhh o.pannerselvan

I said yee, you are right. She repeated it again and again ...

We moved on from jayamma into the next debate, next topic…

Frugal is human life, none of us are going to live forever, not even the legends

With all her wealth and power she couldn’t buy an extra minute for herself. The wealth and position I feel acted as a deterrent to having quality last few days of her life .maybe she wanted to talk to her people, convey a message.maybe she was not allowed to do so. We really don’t know how her last days were. Hope she breathed her last peacefully, contentedly

REST IN PEACE DEAR AMMA