Love letter to my children
Dear son and daughter
this is my love letter to you in valentine’s month on a Sunday. I do not love anything on this earth as Much as I love you both.
My parents provided me with all the material comforts, good education, and social identity. I was brought up in prosperity in a conservative Orthodox environment.
Your dad gave me mental comforts, my space and freedom to fly and explore. Motivated me to create a self identity, live life on my terms. 
I tried to give you both the best of what I received from them.
You are my creations. Nothing on this earth can match the joy of creation. For that matter anything creative is unique, is beautiful in its own way. And so are you both.
If we take average life expectancy as 65 years, I will be done with 
2/3rd of my life in another 2 years, and then I will enter the last leg.
God willing I may live beyond that too. And I will do life style modifications to be around to see you grow, achieved, marry and I also have this wish to assist you in bringing up your creations.
Don't take the pressure of being, the top rankers, the top performers, too seriously. 
Just try to be a better person than u was yesterday. Take the liberty to experiment, try out things, but DO NOT REPEAT MISTAKES. There is nothing wrong in falling in love and it is not the end of the world if a relation doesn't work out. 
It is ok if you are not winning; it is ok if you are ditched, cheated or exploited. Learn a lesson and forget it. Don't keep the pain for too long in your heart. It will hurt you, not the one who gave you the pain.
Don't take the responsibility on behalf of anyone. 
No one will remember work place favors for Long, forget it, don't expect anything in return. 
Do not go out of the way to help colleagues or organizations. Protect self interest. There are no "to die for" friends. 
Make friends, trust them, share with them, but learn to keep few things only to yourself. When someone shares something with you and requests you to not share it with anyone, then take it to your grave, even in the weakest moment, do not reveal others secrets. Integrity will add strength to your character.
Live a conscious life. Keep a check on yourself. Keep a watch. Always be Aware of the situation you are in.
And do not waste life in a rat race. There is no top position, and no one can be on the top forever. There will be up's and down’s, it is very normal to have a bumpy life. 
I quote from my experience, life tests us by putting us into difficult situations, face them do not escape or look for shortcuts, endure the pain... The light on the other side of the tunnel will be bright and beautiful. Have faith, it will reward you. Believe me on this.
Newton’s third law is a gospel.
Love yourself, to be loved by others
Respect yourself, to be respected by others. 
Care for yourself, to be cared by others 
Pay attention to yourself, if you are seeking attention.
You are my extension, and I am proud of you.
Everything you do, there is a little bit of me in it. 
I will be alive in you, for others, even after I am gone.
It’s your choice, about how you want to project me, through you!
Love 
Amma

Daddy – My love for cricket.

1987 – World cup to 2017 champions trophy india vs. pak. 18/6/2017.

I was in class 6 or 7.
We were one of the few people in the colony to own a color TV.
Our living room was crowded, with children of all ages and uncles.
Kids were seated on a carpet specially laid for them on the floor. Most of them were boys, my brother’s friends from our colony and the neighboring colony too.
Uncles were all seated on the sofa and divan; dad arranged few folding chairs too in a row. The chairs were used both indoors and out indoors. Faded green color, rusted and corrugated in appearance, they filled every gap in the room. They appeared as interested as the living beings in cricket.

Mom was busy in the kitchen with her 2 assistants preparing snacks for around 40 of us. Dad was very demanding in food matters. He was a food connoisseur and a very good host. Mom wasn’t a great chef; he was very interfering in kitchen, actively giving her tips to enhance the taste of the food. She wasn’t very appreciative of his active participation in her domain. That evening too he read out a list of the items to be prepared and kept her engaged in the kitchen during the entire duration of match.
I was the daughter and not the wife, hence the privilege of sitting next to him in the hall in front of TV.
I was enjoying the festive atmosphere more than the match. In the second half while England was batting, all of them were cheering for Australia, boon and border were favorites and much heard names in school too. Dad explained every ball and every shot to me; he virtually walked me through the ground. My love for cricket was born on that day. Father was a champion during his days and brother too played a lot of good cricket. Wish he took up the sport seriously …. Dad made me keep an account of every ball and run by giving me a pen and book he divided a page into 2 columns, on the left hand side he made me write the number of balls remaining on the right hand side the number of runs required. To keep me engaged in the game he made me note down every run and ball.
When the match was over all of them were celebrating and I started discussing strategy of the game with dad. What England should have done to win the match…? MY LOVE FOR CRICKET WAS BORN ON THAT DAY , Through the game you introduced me to strategy making, to accounts, to planning, to success , to team work ……….. 
When I see the man and the daughter watch sports, I remember you so much dad, it’s a replay of our days together, you gave me love in different ways, you pampered me in uncommon ways…
I miss you dad, I wish I did a little more for you, watched a little more cricket with you, made you visit my home, watched cricket with you and my kids in my living room, wish they got a little more of you………. rest in peace dad, I promise to make every day of my life beautiful as a tribute to you, For this life is your blessing.………………….
_______________________________
Win tomorrows match for a billion people like my dad dear team INDIA 
2017 champions trophy final , india vs pakistan. 
18/06/2017

Ruminations of a doctor’s wife – life between Saturday to Monday.

In February, on our 23rd wedding anniversary I demanded a gift from the husband.

He said don’t ask me something I cannot give. I said you can, it is within your capacity.

He: if I can then I will for sure, just don’t be very demanding about my time.
I: I like kaikeyi, demand a vachan from dashrath maharaj i.e you that thy will stop working on Sundays. 
It has been 23 years , and this gift of yours will be the most precious one for me after our children. We never went on a holiday more than twice in last 23 years. Our children and I all the while tried to understand your ethical moral dilemmas about dividing the time between family and patients. We played the role of a good family for too long. Now it is your turn to play the role of a good husband /father.

He: but people are used to seeing me available on Sundays. It is very inconvenient for many of them to not find me on a Sunday

I: then what about our inconvenience / our suffering.

He: you are used to this life by now, why do you want me to change all of a sudden.

I: I haven’t been doing this happily, I was doing it out of compulsion, to see you happy, but I am tired of being good to you and to the world. It hurts me now to see you work so much. It hurts me more for you.

He: okay let me try to, I am not promising but I assure you I will withdraw Sunday work slowly.

I stick a notice everywhere in the centre that such and such doctor will not be available on Sundays from here on. And as assured he stopped going to work on Sundays.

The first Sunday break, he receives a couple of calls enquiring the reasons for non availability, he manages some reasons, and with great difficulty he utters a “NO”.

The festive atmosphere at home starts from Saturday evening extending up to Sunday midnight. Special meals are planned, small outings are scheduled. The father and children actually meet each other on a Sunday to Sunday basis. they catch up with weeks discussions….

I taunt him now saying

“see the world did not stop if you stopped working on a Sunday, we are not even falling short of money, most of your patients are not complaining either , none of your fears came true “ .

Look at your happiness when you can watch a match from first ball to the last ball, your happiness when you can sit with your friends on a Saturday evening for a musical adda.

In my 6 years of experience in health care, I can segment the patients into the below mentioned categories.

1) The rich and influential patients: they demand discount, early service, separate air conditioned waiting room, and more personal time with the doctor. For them the centers in town are a stop gap arrangement till they go to metros and visit big hospitals. (this category of people are usually our friends)
2) The poor patients: they pay the full bill amount; they find it awkward to ask for a discount. They feel intimated in Pvt. Setups. But in our centre it is a rule to extend discounts to anyone who cannot afford. 
3) The ailing and terminally ill: they are from middle class to poor background and they demand only quality service even if it is delayed by hours. They actually accept doctors as being equivalent to god. They value life more than anything else. they wait endless hours to hear doctor say “nothing to worry, all is well “ 
4) The fringe elements: They ask for discount by intimidation. They are easier to handle than the sophisticated 1st category people. The fringe elements accept the fact that they actual took a favor by asking for discounts, they in their hearts are thankful and ready to return the favor when required.

The 1st category of patients expresses their displeasure when we bump into them on a Sunday, for the non availability of services. ( I am not generalizing, just quoting from experience, ps : not applicable to everyone )

The rest of them greet him with a big humble hello and express happiness for their doctor enjoying a Sunday away from work. They introduce their families to him, and say few good things like how his timely diagnosis saved a life in their family. In Moments like this my heart swells with pride and I immediately go into a self introspection mode “am I doing anything wrong by holding him back on a Sunday ? “... and I ask him the same

He: its okay, you are giving a bit of my life back to me by enforcing the Sunday smash. More than you I am now looking forward to Sundays..

Sunday ….
She insisted that we accompany her on her 1st day to the dance class. It was a drive to the other end of the town. We agreed and dropped her with her teacher; she was going to stay there for 90 minutes. The man decided to go for a hair cut on the ground floor in the same complex and suggested I spend time in the ladies saloon next to his.
Left with no option I walked into the parlor. From the other side of the reception 2 girls welcomed me as if I am their long last friend. They had heavily done eyes, dark red lips and maybe they applied 10 layers of various creams, if I scrape the skin with a spoon I may get a bowl full of various potions.
Then started the mind game.
Mam what service are you looking for ? 
I said anything which will consume 1 hour
She: go for a hair spa, pedicure or manicure 
I: No I can oil, steam and wash my hair at home, scrub my feet, clean and cut my nails too.
They: looked at each other, ok mam then go for a facial.
I: fine, what all do you offer in non chemical, non steroid section. 
They: again looked at each other and offered gold, diamond facial the most expensive on their menu card... rs.5000/-
I: no, something within rs.1000
They: sarcastically, mam we start at rs.2000/-
left with no option, I accepted the rs. 2000 facial with a heavy heart.
They: But your skin looks tanned, please go for an anti tan pack or bleach before you start your facial, it is just rs.500 extra for the pack, but the results are going to be miraculous.
I: but this is my natural color, not tan. I drive from home to work, and sit in a sealed room for 12 hours, and drive home after sun set. doctors are suggesting that I expose my skin to sunlight as there is vitamin D deficiency, I am also on cholcalciferol for the same. 
They understood that I wasn’t an easy prey.
The massage girl escorted me to a chamber, gave me change, I was reluctant to wear a gown which was on 100 other woman before, I wasn’t sure if they wash them.
She started the process with massaging the cleanser into my skin
She: after wiping the cleanser “mam your skin has lot of dirt, look at this cloth
I: no issues go ahead
She: mam shall I apply the anti tan pack or bleach, to clean the dirt
I: no ……no means “NO” in Bachhan style
She: mam do you apply night cream
I: yes, boroline sometimes. 
She: as you are above 40 you should use anti wrinkle and anti ageing cream for night 
I : (imagining the son mocking me to death if I make attempts to hide my age by using creams even while sleeping, they wouldnt understand that it is for therapeutic purpose ) I shared with her that I use kajole's Olay during day time to avoid/hide fine lines and wrinkles.
She: no mam, you need special creams for your age, I will give you the best of the products that are suitable exclusively to your skin. By applying them you can just arrest ageing for a long time you are going to look younger than this..
I: I was tempted and asked for the price 
She: around rs.3000 for a pack of day and night cream
I did calculations mentally ; I can feed entire family the best quality walnuts and almonds for a month with the same amount, I refused her offer. 
I could sense her disappointment as the effort she was putting into massaging the cream onto my face was diminishing. I dint bother; I rushed out of that cabin as fast as I could.
Borrowed rs 2000 from the man who was waiting outside for me along with daughter who was slurping a Chocó bar,
I am usually polite with people, pay tips as much as I can, but I despised the girls so much for their force selling that I did not even thank them and stormed out of the parlor with a vow to never return back. I would wait for the daughter in the car reading a book, sipping homemade coffee the next week if she insists on my company.

In the car I was sulking about how women are fooled and frightened in the name of ageing, foolishly some of them become preys to the big ugly world of cosmetics.

daughter was taunting me mom no one can scrub smelly ripe bananas and papayas onto their skin the way you do. tomatoes , eggs, cucumbers, potatoes, honey , olive oil you don’t spare anything and u also force your homemade packs on me which is equally bad. Saloons are anyday better than your multani mitty base packs .
ohh dear girl I will have to knock some sense into your head about the harm steroids cause to our skin if we become slaves of the beauty products.

Karimul Haque is a tea garden worker who runs a 24*7 bike-ambulance service in Bengal's Jalpaiguri district. He ferries poor, ill and the aged, even pregnant woman(in emergency) to nearby hospitals on his bike-ambulance 24/7 . His wife and children too are engaged in the same. 
He was felicitated in siliguri for the award by doctors in a function organized by Mr. Sanjay Mukherjee of biomax pharma on 6/5/17 , karimul haque says that religion should be about saving humanity and not killing. All our wealth makes no sense if we cannot spend it on saving a fellow humans life. His mother died because he couldn’t reach her to hospital due to lack of transportation. 
The area he comes from i.e. Jalpaiguri has rough roads and to find an ambulance in case of an emergency is a dream for villagers. His bike-ambulance has helped over 3,000 villagers in the last few years. 
Reddy Healthcare Siliguri pvt ltd, did its miniscule bit by donating rs.50,000 to his kitty , to buy medicines for the poor and needy.
DR. Prem D Bhutia Museff tok the initiative along with sanjay da to felicitate him in siliguri.

He shared some funny tit bits from his life on Saturday
1) The day he received ph call from Delhi about being conferred with padma shri, he assumed that someone is calling him from Delhi to shift padma to a hospital; he was continually guiding the caller about shifting padma to nearby hospital as he cannot reach Delhi on time, and padma may need emergency treatment. The officer hung up the phone smiling to himself about the innocence of the man dedicated to his work.
2) the news about the award spread like wild fire in the town and as people were congratulating him for getting padma, his wife assumed that he fell for someone called as padma, initially she protested but later accepted padma assuming that she is a girl. She was pleasantly surprised when she was clearly explained about padma shri as an award for his services. 
3) he was seated next to virat kohli in rashtrapati bhavan, his reply to kohlis suggestion to work hard and get padma vibhushan next time was that “aap dhum lagake desh ke liye khelna aur jithana, hum tho apna kaam karte rahenge”
4) When he went to Lk advani and Raj nath singh to thank them by touching their feet, they suggested he never bend in front of anyone as he is honoured with padma award now. PM Narendra Modi called him by his first name and hugged him for his good work; he shared this small bit on the dais with little pride in his eyes. 
5) To Attend to the various calls he receives from national and international channels to make a documentary on his work, he has learnt to say “ thank you”, “ok”, “yes” and ”no”. He says he understands their message but he finds himself incapable of giving lengthy response in English. 
6) He shared that he went to Delhi to receive the award when people in his neighborhood donated him their clothes, and shoes, and he was attending this felicitation too, wearing donated clothes. He has been living on them forever. He spends whatever capital he has in service of the needy.

March 9, 2004, 3pm

March 9, 2004, 3pm : Mom and I were chatting about the jewellery mom brought for the baby, taking shape in my womb. We discussed about the impending parliament elections and she was stressed out about the timing of arrival of baby and elections coinciding. It was her dream to see dad in lok sabha. She was full of enthusiasm to discuss the developments in my personal life and dads work life. She said she will call me back after reaching secunderabad and hung up the phone. They were all ready and waiting for the driver. The driver did not report to duty on that day forcing daddy to drive. And that was the last time we had a conversation.
10.30 pm: The man was talking on the land line to a cousin. He passed on the ph to me and went inside to attend a call on his mobile ph. While I was on the land line he left home talking on the mobile. His body language was as if he is attending to some emergency. The unexpected call of the cousin and the man hurriedly running out of the house, instead of merrily chatting with cousin was an indication that all was not right. There is something happening which I was not aware of. 
I hastily disconnected the call, and went out to see who he was talking to and what he was hiding from me. I asked him, is everything alright? He said nothing much your parents met with an accident, I was talking to your maama, let’s go to Hyderabad tomorrow. 
I asked him bluntly, are they alive? I can handle, just tell me the truth.
He said yes very much...mom is unconscious but dad is fine, he is talking.
That night I packed more than the usual number of clothes, I could guess that all was not well back home. I did not prod him much about the accident as his eyes were full of compassion for me. We took the first flight to Hyderabad the next day, we reached Hyderabad around 9pm, I went to see mom first, and she was in deep sleep, oblivious to the surroundings. She had head injury and probably she is in coma, but she may come out of it soon is what my sis in law who is also a doctor told me with consolation.
Then I went to see dad. He was in the hospital gown. We looked into each other's eyes reassuringly that all will be ok soon. We did not cry , he asked about mom, I said she is fine , sleeping. He said I know you will manage everything and closed his eyes, maybe to shut the tear glands. I said yes you take rest I am going home, I will come tomorrow in the morning, to see you fresh and discuss our next move. 
We had long discussion the next week in the presence of rest of the family members about whether he should contest the elections or withdraw. I and the man were supporting him to fight with a hope that mom will wake up to see him in the parliament. 
3 generations in the family were a part of the struggle for separate telangana. This is the time and opportunity to stay on the ground and fight a democratic battle was the unanimous decision. Dad worked out a lot of strategy from the hospital bed and later from home while nursing his spinal injuries. Campaigning took a toll on his health, neck pain intensified, but he had no exit route. 
And for the next 2 months I was nursing comatose mother at home with the help of 3 trained sisters working in shifts, managing daddy's election fund, back office work with a 28 week baby in the womb and a 6 year old son for company, husband away at work. during the first pregnancy mother treated me like a princess who was expecting her first baby, and during the second one it was a role reversal.

From then on to 14th may, the date of results, I put everything I had at stake, health, wealth, energy, blessings, good will, to help daddy win the election. My maternal uncles stood by mom like 2 pillars, my mothers life’s earning was the love of her brothers. Apparently dad won the election but mother never came out of coma to see her dream come true, to celebrate his victory. The daughter arrived in next 10 days on 23rd may. Separate statehood for telangana was a big challenge and people voted TRS candidates to power for the same. I assured dad that I will take care of mom, and gave him a go-ahead signal towards new delhi. I stayed with mom for an year; later dad insisted I join the man as he was feeling guilty of keeping children away from their father for over an year. I handed over Mom to my brother's family, but she never recovered, we forcefully kept her alive for 2 years by feeding her thru tubes fixed to her stomach. Eventually we gave up hopes and let her go, as she never made any attempt to come out of coma. In 2015 Peacefully in his sleep dad left us on the same date (Hindu calendar) 9 years apart. Reunited in heaven my guardian angels are watching over me, protecting me.

It doesn't hurt me anymore when I remember those days. We should see off our parents, it is our dharma, what we do for them while they are alive is our karma. There were all kinds of people in my surroundings then, celebrating our pains and envying our joys.

My understanding is, we all have to pay for our sins individually, and no one is going to drag the cross for us. Mom Paid for her sins, I paid for mine. People judge others life in haste. They fail to realize that they themselves are not immune to hardships and bad times. Life doesn't end with one incident or one person. It is a continuous process. There is a lot of good and bad left for all of us to see. After all the suffering, am I done with my share of pains? Or more rude shocks are awaiting their turn to purify me. I don’t know the answer; I live in fear of it.

I am not running away, I will not and I cannot. I have to pay for my deeds, liberation comes only after producing a no dues certificate. The challenge of life lies in gracefully accepting the judgment of time. Oh mighty eternal valorous time I bow to you in reverence