Fake lifestyles, mannerisms, and macho stories

 Recently a lady who later became a friend came to get her Kundli checked.

After answering all her important queries, she asked me one challenging question to which even the Kundli had no answer.

Her query was: Why does my husband change his behaviour in the presence of his mother or his side of the family?  

A loving man suddenly starts behaving like a strict husband who doesn't care much for his wife's opinion.

When he and the kids sit together as a family, he will call my name affectionately, serve me food on the plate, praise my cooking skill, etc. He compliments me to the moon privately but always wants the upper hand in public. 

When his parents are around or when we are amidst some distant relatives, even in a gathering of friends, he will create the impression of a man in control of the house. He will call my name commandingly and summon me for the smallest of the works. 

Please look into my Kundli and tell me the reason for this high-handed approach of my husband.

Recently we went to a friend's place, and while we all were chatting, I said something everyone appreciated; I noticed His face, looks, and body language. His countenances changed the moment people started praising me over him. 

She then asked why my husband is so chameleon-like?

I convinced her by narrating from my personal experiences that not just her husband but all of them are chameleon-like.

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Let me explain; I have analysed this myself for many years.

Husbands are like political parties, always in appeasement mode. The wife and her family are the fixed vote bank. He takes their acceptance for granted like BJP takes some Hindu votes, and AIMIM takes Muslim votes for granted.

They will do and speak precisely that which, according to them, is appealing to the segment they are dealing with. Appeasement is a skill mastered by only two groups on this earth,  political parties and husbands,

Wives are like foolish Aam Janata, who can get swayed by emotions. 

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I went on

In a recent conversation with a friend, he brought out some fantastic facts about image building. According to him, we all build a particular image of ourselves and our spouses in our minds and then modulate our behaviour to suit that image.

I asked him: Is it not very common among men to indulge in this image-building exercise?

They create an image of their home, wife, and hospitality in their minds and then enforce the same on the family to do everything to maintain that image. They start accepting or rejecting everything unless it aligns with the picture in their mind.

She asked again you mean to say this problem is universal?

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I enjoyed attending to her as it reminded me of my dad. I told her Maybe her husband interned under the men of my family.

 I guess husbands do not have just two or three faces but always four. They think of themselves like Lord Brahma, our creator. My man also keeps a beard like our creator Ji and, like him, has four faces. 

Brahma Ji's faces signify the sacred knowledge of the four Vedas: Rig, Yajur, Sama, and Atharva. But the men of this world keep multiple fronts to serve that " single great image" they want to create about themselves.

They project Fake lifestyles, mannerisms, and macho stories to expand their self-image. The wife gets dragged into nurturing this image sometimes by force and sometimes by choice.

Those women who resist have stories like these to resonate, and those who participate can come down and write comments on this post.

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We had a hearty laugh, and it is a feel-good moment to have somebody share the grief; with her permission, I am disseminating this to you all with the client turned into a friend's permission.