Yes, rules are not the same for everyone

Yes, rules are not the same for everyone

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In this creation rules are different for each one of us because we are all at different stages of evolution.

you and I can together do a similar mistake but we should not expect the repercussion of the same to be similar.

I may be punished more than you, because at my level of consciousness I am not permitted to do such karmas. A class  10 student will not be given leniency in comparison to class 2 student in many ways. As the class 10 person is expected to adhere to certain dharma (rule) because of his evolution from class 2 to class 10.

I will explain this to you with a very personal anecdote.

I have a friend in Hyderabad. She is born to rich parents and married to an ambitious guy, who used the resources (legal, illegal) to multiply their wealth by another 100 times, and he is still at it. They have a college going daughter.

She has been calling me for some time, but I have been avoiding her calls because all she does even on the ph.  is flaunt her wealth, her husband’s financial success and her child’s achievements. There is no meaningful discussion or learning. It is not that I envy her but I value my time and I spend it judiciously, never in gossip but only to read, pray, cook, serve or write.  I don’t spend my time on people who cannot inspire or motivate me.

When she called me last week, I answered the call.

So, she started with her personal success story in her practice and then went on to share about her husband’s new business venture and then about how her daughter cracked the toughest entrance made it to the best college in the world etc etc…I too got carried away (sangat ka asar) and shared some fake success stories about me and my family. I knew I was exaggerating but I reasoned to myself that it is justified, as the friend  too was exaggerating and flaunting something which isn’t THE REALITY.

Both of us faked in hyperbole as much as we could and at the end of it, I got tired lying and said goodbye to her on the pretext of another important call in waiting.

After speaking to certain people if we don’t end up feeling charged, motivated and energised instead feel drained and low then believe me we are not in  the company of right people.

30 minutes after I hung up the ph., I received another  ph. call, it was bad news in reference to the exaggerations I made about me and my family’s success. I felt terribly guilty for projecting false happiness, false achievement thereby bringing ill luck to the family.

But In the next 60 minutes help poured in from all the corners and we could together mitigate the problem in the next 24 hours.  

I had a silent conversation and reflection within about why and how things went wrong. the friend who boasts on a daily basis about her family falsely is not affected and here I am being punished within few minutes of projecting untruth.

That’s when I realised that RULES CANNOT BE THE SAME FOR EVERYONE.

In her journey at her level of evolution and consciousness mistakes are permitted but not at the stage where I am. I knowingly willingly projected something which dint exist and I had to pay a price for it, hope my bad karma is squared up.

Nature is a great leveller, let us not do mistakes because someone else is doing and remaining unpunished.

The balancing game is played by nature with a lot of accuracy and precision. Have faith and move forward. Cut out all the negative influences if you can, or at least try to remain unaffected by them because what is right for them may  be wrong for you as RULES ARE NOT THE SAME FOR EVEYRONE.

Sabkha time ayega.

Happy new year people... leave the past behind !

 Happy new year people... leave the past behind !

As we are shifting house I have been in the process of discarding a lot of old stuff.
My family members are a little less practical and more emotional, sentimental people.

My husband’s PG days hand written notes, half eaten by moths, damp , discolored were lying in a carton for a quarter of a century.
I was segregating the trash into 2 segments one which will go to the kabadiwaala and the other to dustbin, realizing that the moth eaten notes will not be accepted even by kabadiwaala I dumped them into a carton , a makeshift dustbin .

While I was doing this in the living room during the early hours of morning, the man walks in rubbing his eyes and peeps into the dustbin to check what all I disposed.

He picks up the notes and gives me a look of how dare you!
How could you! I said its 21 years since you passed your PG , for what do you need these notes now ? , and moreover your subject has evolved so much and you have learnt a lot more than what Is in them , they aren’t even readable anymore, why do you still want to hang on to them .

I said enough of it, I am exhausted handling your emotional baggage, and you attach your emotions to everything and anything.
 Either they will go to the new house or I will. He exclaimed and said as if I really have choice !

i said Yes you don’t, so leave the notes in the dustbin and don’t come this side I am throwing out a lot of your stuff today...

Then I went to the daughters desk, thoroughly cleansed her table to my heart’s content I threw out the centuries old chocolate wrappers, the one eyed , amputated,, quadriplegic , bald , semi naked Barbie dolls , pen caps , one inch length crayons, both side sharped pencil bits. I kept intact her childhood drawings, paintings and school diaries.

I did not dare to touch the son’s shelf in his absence fearing I would end up losing a finger or 2, as he has accumulated various chemical potions in small bottles from different labs.
 I left an ultimatum to him in whatsapp that he will not be allowed into the new house with all his trash material collections.
When he came home yesterday for Christmas break I made him sit and threw out his old test tubes, dangerous chemicals. Once a neighbor who looked at the son’s shelf asked me “does he make bombs? Keep an eye on him Mrs Reddy hope he is not hobnobbing with the wrong guys, it was difficult explaining to her and to many other curious visitors to our house, his interest in weapons and everything that goes into making them.

But I enjoyed destroying their emotional baggage.
It was a burden for me taking care of their sentiments, managing their old accumulated stuff. Emotions are good, sentiments are good but they shouldn’t become a to liability others.
Learn from the past, grow wise and shed away the unwanted. Don’t accumulate but analyze, understand assimilate and move on …
Let’s not stay stuck in the past… let’s leave the past behind, to make space for new experiences..

happy new year people... leave the past behind !

The audio-visual media is so easy entertaining and engrossing

 The audio-visual media is so easy entertaining and engrossing

I am all focussed and doing some serious work on the laptop.
The phone goes beep, beep, beep with notifications.
I turn the phone screen upside down to avoid distraction.
But I cannot hold the attention for long on the work I am doing as the notifications beep is going on and on.
So, I decide to take a quick 2-minute break from work drink some water check notifications, if anything important reply back and then get back to work.
I open the water bottle take a sip while unlocking the phone.
First, I check mail , find nothing important there then I go to WhatsApp, there are 600 messages in school friends’ group, luckily my school friends change the title of the group to suit the occasion. If it is a friend’s birthday then the group for that day is named after the birthday boy or girl which makes it easier for me to remember to send birthday greetings. I would hate myself if I miss greeting someone on their birthday. I take few seconds, frame a heartfelt message and send it after that I scroll up to read the 600 messages carefully avoiding the lengthy videos on how big a cheater modi is or how stupid a person Rahul Gandhi is, I also never open the sunrise picture with good morning wishes, a baby Krishna in the background and a hindi shayari on the foreground, or a smiling tea kettle or any motivational self-contradictory hypocritical message. I go to the 3 astrology groups where big minds are at work. They dissect one birth chart to the minutest possibility 70 years down the lane. If I have to read every message in the group, 24 hours a day will be less, so I just exit whatsapp out of the frustration of not contributing anything to the group.
From there I move on to Facebook, check notifications of which 50% of them are requests to like their fb pages! which I do if I find the person, page or the message relevant to my current status. As I scroll down the Facebook page all I see is videos, 5-minute crafts, street food, motivational videos, comedy videos, hebbers kitchen this that, then there are advertisements to sell straighteners, hair gels, pimple removers , air tickets then spiritual videos on how a dumb and deaf girl got cured within 2 seconds, and then a swami saying chemistry + physics + maths = arnab goswami….
I open the phone for a quick 5-minute break to check notifications and here I spent 1 hour just surfing WhatsApp and Facebook, and I repeat this cycle 6 times in a day.
At the end of the day I crib about wasting another day, for making it the most unproductive day. so instead of winding up the day on time I end up working extra time and rush through the work invariably every day at the slog hours.
If Facebook and WhatsApp were not enough, we now have Netflix and amazon and their goddamn addictive series. I once binge watched all the episodes of “the test case “on alt Balaji, I dd the same with a series on osho called wild life county on Netflix,
To watch the osho series uninterrupted I faked illness to my children husband and colleagues in office , stayed home the entire day and watched it in a go! I did the same with a series on netaji Subhash Bose on alt balaji . I got so addicted to house of cards on Netflix that I started hallucinating about the underwood’s, Douglas stamper, heather Dunbar, Seth Grayson, Remy Danton and white house. . My daughter suggested to the husband to send me to rehab for deaddiction. After some counselling by family and friends I am sober these days.
I don’t remember the last time I could hold my attention on to a book, Or least complete reading a book from 1st page to the last page without skipping pages or moving on to the next book leaving this midway.
If I am a little normal person today it is all thanks to me for not being an active person on Instagram, but whenever I open it I peep into the personal lives of celebrities for endless hours and I waste another week wondering how they maintain clean homes, perfect bodies, smiling faces and rich paying jobs by continuously manipulating , exploiting every person they meet.
The audio-visual media is so easy entertaining and engrossing that anything which requires serious focus and undivided attention is becoming a big turn off. Call it a boon or a bane but this is what it is!

dec,11th 2018..post state election results in ts, chattisgarh , mp rajasthan and manipur

dec,11th 2018..post state election results in ts, chattisgarh , mp rajasthan and manipur   

Recently I received a ph. call from the president of a women’s club.
After all the exchange of boring formal pleasantries she invited me to join her club.
But in the initial days when I showed interest to join that club, she softly refused me saying that there isn’t enough space for new members so they have stopped inducting fresh members.
When I dug out the reason for this sudden mercy , I came to know that the president developed a soft corner for me after I fell out with her staunch enemy.
I thought I shut the door on one stale stinking relationship and here a new one opened up but the foundation of this relation is again not on the premise of mutual respect or love . I turned her offer down, putting an end to similar future conflict with which I dealt recently.
Poor urjit Patel too will now have to deal with similar people. Just because he resigned from RBI under the aegis of MODI government, all the people who hated MODI till date will try to befriend him, open their doors, will give various offers to join them in desired capacity on economic policies of their future government.
They did the same to Shiva Shankar Singh who handled data analytics for the BJPs poll campaigns. There was a lot of finger pointing and malicious writeup on him while he was on the job of setting poll strategies for northeast(for BJP) and later the same group hailed him as a hero when he quit BJP owing to differences in the way the party is being run.
I was a part of another faltu organisation in the past where they conducted annual general body elections for president secretary treasurer etc.
Small organisation with 2 major lobbies , 2 sub lobbies and few fence sitters, the maximum attention went on to the fence sitters, they were pampered , cajoled, requested ,bribed and emotionally blackmailed to take sides. The lobbies were openly routing for one or the other guy to protect their self-interest.
I guess everywhere the key to all the results in a very short term will lie with these fence sitters. To me these people are the most shewed , cunning manipulative and selfish breed. The one who openly takes side is wearing his heart on the sleeve which is fair transparent and acceptable ,easy to deal with too.
In Madhya Pradesh the initial numbers were reflecting the dependency on independents who would have blackmailed both the parties to the extreme, bargained for money , plum position and kept them on tenterhooks for the next 5 years.
It is good for democracy if we as voters weed out the fence sitters and give clear majority to one or the other party or at least to a group which has pre poll alliance.
The most complex part of dealing with anything where human minds are involved is to deal with their egos and greed. Egos can be massaged but how to manage greed ? Few are greedy for money , others for power which is still manageable but the most dangerous segment is the group of people who can shield their greed and intentions they are DEEP, UNREADABLE, UNPREDICTABLE AND EXTREMELY SECRETIVE”
UNFORTUNATELY MADHYA PRADESH HAS FALLEN INTO THE HANDS OF THESE ELEMENTS WHO WILL PLAY THE MOST HIDEOUS GAMES FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.
CHATTISGARH , TELANGANA , RAJASTHAN AND MIZORAM VOTERS WERE WISE ENOUGH TO KEEP THE FENCE SITTERS AT ARM'S LENGTH . GOOD FOR THEM FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU FOR BEING WISE VOTE WISE

Mukesh Ambani too has a right to celebrate his only daughter’s wedding in a very special way.

 Mukesh Ambani too has a right to celebrate his only daughter’s wedding in a very special way.

Our milkman recently borrowed Rs 20000 from me to get his daughter married, I also heard he borrowed the same amount of money from couple a of other clients too.
My father drained in all the resources he had to get me married in style.
Last to last year A doctor friend of mine broke all his mutual fund investments before maturity to get his sister married in a grand memorable manner.
Anushka and Virat went to Italy so did Deepika and Ranvir.
Priyanka and nick Jonas got married in India but wore the choosiest expensive designer Ralf Lauren.
Till date vanisha mittals wedding is the most talked about event.
Recently my friend went to attend a wedding in Kolkata of a family friends’ daughter, they are from Siliguri, but they chose the most expensive 5-star hotel in Kolkata for their daughter’s special occasion.
Our watchmen mujibur borrowed rs.1000 from me to buy a nice gift for his niece on her wedding.
The lambu daada who sells tea near our centre got his daughter married in the most pompous style in his colony. He demanded that we all donate certain big sum or gold articles to meet the expenses.
There are others who go for a court marriage bypassing all the traditions.
Some Others opt for Arya Semaj style of wedding.

Daughter is an emotion a very special emotion. Every father rather every family will dream of marrying off their daughter in style and grandeur. It is once in a lifetime event, they want the parting to be the most memorable gift for their daughter.
Mukesh Ambani too has a right to celebrate his only daughter’s wedding in a very special way. He has flown in people from all over the world for the event. He brought in Bollywood stars to dance at her sangeet, international pop singer to perform at the mehendi event.
How and why is it anybody’s problem?
Let us wish happiness and happy married life to the new couple. Folks Bless them and move on, we certainly have other important things to do with out time.

#RAFAELDEAL #SUPREMECOURTJUDGEMENT #CONGRESS #BJP #AAP

#RAFAELDEAL #SUPREMECOURTJUDGEMENT #CONGRESS #BJP #AAP

Mother in law entrusted me with responsibility of handling the food grain needs of the family for the next 2 years and for this she allocated certain budget to me.
She allocated the same figure to me which she gave to my co sister during her turn of running the mass kitchen , by rotation it was my term for the next couple of years.
To save money and to get the best quality organic output , I purchased quality seeds from a foreign vendor and gave them to a local person with resources to grow the crop for the entire family.

Suddenly my co sister became suspicious that I was getting kickbacks from the vendors as well as the resource partner for purchasing and growing the crops.
so she went to my mother in law initially , made a lot of noise , created a sensation out of it, went around bad mouthing me to all the family members , and later with the support of my mom in law she went to the father in law to lodge a complaint against me, though she could not accumulate any evidence for the allegations she leveled against me
The father in law after looking into the matter reprimanded her and told her to not go around investigating every detail. according to him my intention is to save money and buy the best for the family and grow the crops according to the needs of the family, so he told her to allow me to do my job and stop being a nagging family member.
he said She is given a budget and she is working within the constraints. Stop arguing on assumptions or else produce the evidence.
HE BLUNTLY TOLD HER TO STOP BEING STUPID.
Now I really hope the crops really come out as expected otherwise the allegations she put on me will be proven correct and I will never be given this responsibility.
Co sister: congress + AAP
I: BJP
Mother in law : elected members + civil society
Father in law : Supreme Court.
#RAFAELDEAL #SUPREMECOURTJUDGEMENT #CONGRESS #BJP #AAP

URI AND THE ACCIDENTAL PRIME MINISTER

URI AND THE ACCIDENTAL PRIME MINISTER

 

Brief stint of illness gave me an opportunity to watch uri and the accidental prime minister on 2 consecutive days.
About the accidental prime minister the book is far far more interesting and descriptive . The movie scores over the book on just one scale , ie Baru himself , Akshay Khanna as Sanjay baru is a man to fall in love for his beautiful costumes .
Keeping in mind the current trend If you throw the 10 year challenge to Akshay Khanna then the AK OF today WILL win it hands down over the AK of Taal . He has that crooked smile , dimple cheeks , salt and pepper hair , style mannerisms body language OMG watch it to just watch him .

Uri is an over dramatised war movie but worth every minute of our time not from patriotism point of view but from a well made movie angel. I can’t imagine the upper level of Vicky Kaushal, he is unravelling himself In new avatar with every movie . He portrayed the emotions of an army man to a son with effortless ease ... Vicky Kaushal should be the man of the moment in Bollywood.
As being publicised neither of the two movies evoke any sympathy for BJP . They don’t give us any new insights about the nature of domination of “the family” in congress or the hyper nationalism agenda of the BJP .
If anyone presumed this to be an election year gimmick, then they miscalculated it .. Indian electorate is far more intelligent.. THEY CAN ONLY BE SWAYED EITHER BY THE CASTE ANGLE OR THE MONEY ANGEL . When it comes to elections they are very very practical on who to vote for and how much to sell their vote for .
URI AND THE ACCIDENTAL PRIME MINISTER ARE JUST TIME PASS CHANA BATANA!

Inspiring women series : part 1

Inspiring women series : part 1

I have had in depth interactions with some remarkable women in past few days. I owe the leisure interactions to the party, picnic and holiday season.
Our house keeping lady bid good bye to her abusive husband recently. She is in her late 20’s. Apart from working at our office she has picked up another job to support her son’s aged 7 and 10. She says that the increased physical labor is nothing in comparison to the torment her suspicious sadistic husband inflicted on her every night. In her words “it is very liberating to be on my own, spend my money on my needs, dress the way I like, go wherever I want to, meet new men, be friends with them, chat on ph for an hour with the new boy friend everyday”. She has a new glow on her face; the new found freedom has given her more happiness, instead of the stigma of being a divorcee. She says it feels like heaven to not have her alcoholic, gambling abusive husband around. She has unapologetically shackled the stereotype of a sanskari nari. I am in total awe of her. I love to see the new young vibrant lady ready to tread new waters, instead of succumbing to the tantrums of society.
I also had the opportunity to have an insightful conversation with a woman in her early 60’s. She struggled all her life , moved places first with her father an army man who fought the indo china war and then with her husband who was in the media. She worked hard every single day of her life to shape her son and daughter into wonderful human beings. She contributes equal energy into raising her grand children too. She is street smart, fighter and full of life. The lady never had the support of her husband, but she put up with him for the sake of society, she did not let her pain affect her children mentally ,never sobbed all day, never went around complaining for not having a good husband, instead took up the responsibility of nurturing the children into achievers. Even today when I sit to chat with her all she shares is the positive learning out of every adverse situation. She radiates more beauty than any rich woman when she wears her jeans and boots and walks around with a confident smile on her face.
Then there Is this lady in her early 30’s who battled some or the other illness all through, had multiple miscarriages, caught her husband cheating and forgave him easily, moved on with life went on to have a son, converted her not so kind in laws into her fans, gave up her high paying job in a different city to stay with her family. She is a good wife , good mother, good daughter in law and a great friend , at the same time she doesn’t neglect herself , she buys nice clothes, designer bags, colors her hair in the choicest colors , never misses an opportunity to look spick and spank . When I sit with her to just listen to her all I can see behind the words is a woman who cannot be defeated by anybody. Time too has accepted defeat in disrobing her of happiness, which reflects in every cell of her body and makes her shine bright.
I never envied beautiful women, I never envied rich women, I never envied women who are far more blessed than me materialistically, but I envy these women for their zeal for life.
The only lesson I get to learn watching all these ladies filled to the brim with positivity and optimism is “NEVER SURRENDER TO THE CIRCUMSTANCES , HAVE FAITH AND TRY TO OUTGROW THE PAIN “
Watch manikarnika to meet one such woman who is a cumulative version of many of our hardships combined together!

Inspiring women series: part 2

Inspiring women series: part 2

If we make a deep analysis, marriages are nothing more than a social necessity.
A marriage is a social and financial security assurance for most of the parents of the girl child.
For the groom’s family , a marriage will bring in a housekeeper, a lady attendant to take care of the large joint family, a laxmi whose kundli will improve their financial prospects , a companion to their son to take care of all his needs etc.. The list is endless.
Actually in a practical sense men need marriage more than women.
If the world was a safe place for women, if women were treated as equal beings, given equal rights and respect maybe we can do away with the marriage structure itself.
It is liberating to not remain tied to the relations and liabilities which come with marriage alone.
It is absolutely beautiful to get up in the morning without having the pressure to go out and earn for the family or do all the household chores for the family.
Maybe given all the free time in lieu of not being married, we would have produced more artists, politicians, social workers and scientists.
We waste so much of our energy on a daily basis in fulfilling enforced, entrusted formalities which we actually don’t enjoy doing. In due course of time a woman is conditioned to believe that she is incomplete without a family which includes husband, children and the extended family, seeing no alternative to it, she accepts it as her innate duty to get married and serve all the relations.
In a marriage we transfer our powers, our rights to the in laws, we barter our freedom to duties which are thrusted upon us by the new relations which develop overnight just by the virtue of swath here.
We get the thought of getting our girls married because we fear for their social and financial security after we are gone.
We can easily alleviate this fear
1. By investing on our girls exactly the way we invest on our boys to make them self reliable.
2. By working towards making this world a safer place for single women.
The first step towards creating a fair society is to accept Single women, single mothers without any qualms. The second step is to allow them to take their decisions.
I met a girl recently who echoed these thoughts. She is the third daughter of her parents; they are not blessed with any male progeny.
She decided to remain single for now as she doesn’t want to transfer the rights on her body and mind to someone else.
She is a siliguri girl in her late twenties, working in Delhi, has clear long term and short term goals for her work and studies, and has a bucket list of places to see and things to do. She is a happy contended simple harmless person.
Let us give her and the likes of her a right to live their life the way they want to without imparting the gyan on the NECESSITY of getting married.
AND LET US ALSO STOP GIVING GYAN TO MARRIED WOMEN TO BECOME MOTHERS, AND MOTHERS OF A SINGLE CHILD TO HAVE A SECOND ONE.
Let us stop conditioning, stereotyping and eulogizing women as wives and mothers only. There is more to her than what we want for her. We cannot decide what makes one a complete woman.
There is no single, formula mantra, benchmark or prototype.
Every woman can be different; can be at both extremes without owing any explanation to anyone.
Saraswati to kali to durga to laxmi to mother Mary to Ayesha to yasodhara to Diana to Marie curie ……
Let us celebrate every woman.