Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Mutter = Green pigeon peas.

 Mutter = Green pigeon peas.

--------------

What green peas are to North India =  pigeon peas are to my hometown.

---------

Recipes made by

 using green pigeon peas is very special during the winters in the place where I come from.


They are called SOLALU in the colloquial north Telangana region.

-------------

During my childhood, I watched the spectacle of aunties sitting on the veranda shelling peas on most of the winter evenings. They never looked down while shelling the peas but their hands moved swiftly and artistically between the pods.

--------------


Some of the homes had the peas coming from the village farms while others brought them from the weekly farm market. 


Whoever had them coming from the farm ensured the peas were distributed in the immediate neighbourhood. 


They never ate in isolation. Everything concerning food moved swiftly between the homes.


All the aunties knew each other's favourite vegetable items and all of them participated In reaching fav  food to their friend's  doorstep by employing children as the courier service.

----------

The most loved  and demanded  dishes  were brinjal+peas(which I cooked today) and peas biryani(tastes yummier than meat biryani)

--------------

Some of my school friends who live away from INDIA  buy packed pigeon peas from supermarkets and ask for recipes from their moms back home. The pictures they present of the cooked dishes take us all down memory lane.

And each of us travels into the past  discussing the special tastes of our respective homes.

--------++

As I did not have access to the peas in any supermarkets around the town I decided on the last season to grow them here BY MYSELF.

These peas go on t become tuar/arhar dal.

--------

The last picture of the collage is dedicated to the memory of all the aunties I watched growing up.

Thank you for leaving us a rich heritage of cuisines and values around sharing the food with neighbours.

------------




A Saga of Mothers Bangles

 A Saga of Mothers Bangles

________

There was a lane dedicated to bangle shops in our small town.

It was a slim lane bustling with activity during the afternoon and evening.

The vendors were mostly Mohammedans, with their antecedents traced to Uttara Pradesh. However, as time passed, they learned the local language, culture, and traditions and almost became a part of the local Muslim community.


 The teenage girls, to be brides, married women everyone thronged the shop throughout the day.

On specific evenings, my mother and her friends used to visit the shop together. The ladies hardly ever kept a large stock of anything at home and only bought things when they were needed. For instance, my mother would wait until she had only three or fewer bangles in her hand before going to the shop to purchase a new set of bangles.

_____

There were plain and designer bangles, the plain bangles were cheaper in comparison to the ones with the golden imprints.

On festive occasions, mom used to buy designer ones and rest of the year plain bangles. Both patterns looked stunning on her arms. A dozen bangles in the center with gold bangles on both sides as borders was the most popular fashion trend of those times.


 As a child, I accompanied my mom to the market many evenings after returning from school. The shops were always filled with beautiful glass bangles, in a multitude of colours bringing so much joy to women from all segments of society in a small bylane of the main market.

Some of my male classmates lived in the colony adjacent to the bangle shops. I often used to spot some boys while on mom's shopping spree, but we were all prohibited from acknowledging each other outside of school. It was scandalous to speak to a boy beyond the school premises even if he was our neighbor, the cracks widened with time and more so as we entered our teens. 

_________

After we visited the bangle shop she used to remain careful while working in the kitchen to avoid collision with anything which may lead to the breakage of her precious glass ornaments.


The inimitable jingling noise from her armful of bangles while beating millet rotis or, when oiling my hair was melodious.


The tinkling sounds generated by the collision between gold and glass bangles always sounded an alert of her arrival. The one with the sharpest ears would sense it first and then throw a warning to the rest of us with his glances, it was always the older brother who led the pack. He was the vigilante all the time, making gestures to each of us to act as if were studying.

 ______

The memory of her bangles is still vivid to me, especially the day when we got our year-end results or the day we fought in the colony with "so-called" friends. She used to call us three siblings and slap one after the other. 


This often resulted in the breakage of her bangles, and the sharp glass pieces would pierce her skin, causing her to bleed a little. She would then pause to remove the glass bits, and then continue with her fury.


That one minute of respite between the beatings was a godsend for us. We used to calculate in our mind,  

Is it going to end here?

Is the wound big? 

Does she need help?

Will she get distracted with the cut and spare us?


No, it never happened!


 She would start from wherever she left it and give us a nice thrashing for our blunders since the previous beating session. She had an excellent memory of our wrongdoings, she would settle all of it in a go, as she would get into a thrashing mode once in a while, to release the pent-up anger.

__________


Following the punishment session, my mother would prepare a modest dinner for the family, as a way of showing her disappointment towards our inappropriate behaviour and lack of dedication to our studies. We would all eat quietly and then return to our respective beds, feeling remorseful for our actions. 

The mother, weighed down by guilt, would often toss and turn in her bed, perhaps shedding a few silent tears. 


She would then call us to her bed, wrap her arms and legs around us, and drown us with her affection. It was like a dog licking her newborn pups with care, love, and conviction that only she could be their saviour.


In that moment, all of her rage and guilt would disappear, replaced by love that would lull us into a peaceful and happy sleep.


 The next morning, we returned to our usual uncivilized behaviour, as if the punishment had never happened. 


Finally, it was time to visit the bangles shop lane again.

_______

In the loving memory of my mother, I adorned my arms with the abandoned bangles from the remote corner of the dressing table drawer.


These bangles were gifted to me by the welcome team of Chidambaram Palace employees.

Thursday, October 19, 2023

We are all fighting the same battle.

 We are all fighting the same battle, but in different roles and at different levels.

____________________________________________________
The Maid fights against domestic abuse every day, which is sadly prevalent in every Basti of India.
The diplomat's wife feels like a bird in a golden cage for being forced to live in a foreign country with her husband. Rich women moving in big cars are not always enjoying that luxury. Behind the Dolce and Gabbana shades are not the happy eyes always.
The lower middle-class girl gets rejected by multiple suitors for her father's inability to give a motorbike in the dowry. Even the most useless BOY of any village in India will demand a bike in dowry.
Competent women are forced to chop their wings and made to stay at home for family honour. The most brilliant women are demeaned for the colour of their skin and the shape of their bodies.
Women from a certain segment are conditioned to go out of the house only if they oblige to cover themselves in a burqa. The lady is allowed to send her daughters to school in burqa till the men decide to get their daughters married to men of any age.
Wives of the richest homes get limited monthly allowance, they are always kept in the dark about family finances. They are usually the first victims of depression as everything around them is controlled.
Men decide what to cook and how much to eat in many homes, and the men save money for alcohol and other vices.
Women are beaten black and blue to appease other members of the family, the men in many homes use this technique to display their machismo.
In some homes, it is imperceptible torture, women are not treated as equals despite their academic background or are never made a part of the family dialogue to silently show them their place. In many parts of the country, women are sold in the market by the men of their homes to fulfil their appetites.
______
These are daily struggles for most of us.
Women from all sections of society are opposing a different category of male dominance and patriarchy. From both ends of the spectrum, it is a laudable resistance.
++++++++++++
Rather than supporting each other, we tend to engage in gossip and criticism, which only serves to diminish and undermine one another. We often comment "She is rich, what problems can she have"
or she is a working woman, with total financial freedom"
"She is an officer's, politician's wife, all fun" or She has no responsibilities as she has a good mother in law"
_________________
Being rich and staying at home does not make one feel any better than the one who is going out every day to make ends meet.
The one living in the AC rooms at the mercy of their husband's benevolence is equally pained as a mother working hard to pay her child's school fees.
Our struggles are identical but circumstances may be different.
Some space, respect and an acknowledgement of equality are all we are asking for.
Let us support every victim of discrimination and cheer them on in their battle for self-respect and equal rights.
We should all be together and accept that nobody's fight is less than another's. Do not demean fellow women if your struggles are not in sync with hers.
Stand in support and solidarity of people in your surroundings, be empathetic, listen to their stories and reassure them that they are not alone.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We are all fighting the same battle, but in different roles and at different levels.