Power of Forgiveness, an Unpopular Opinion.

 Power of Forgiveness, an Unpopular Opinion.

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These days, extra-marital affairs are mainly an open secret; they are no longer confined to gossiped rumours or something happening behind closed doors. Even then, the entire globe will know about the affair before those it affects the most, i.e., the family. Ex: the case of #AndyByron.

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Attraction outside of marriage isn't a crime, and I guess it isn't uncommon either. Every human being, regardless of their background, may experience it at some point in their life. The real question is: how do we choose to act on it?

Some people keep it as a fleeting thought and move on. Others, for various reasons such as emotional dissatisfaction, loneliness, or a moment of weakness let that thought cross the line. Crossing that line changes the future of all their relationships.

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When an affair is uncovered, it creates ripples throughout the entire ecosystem of the marriage, not just between the couple, but also among children, extended family, and even their professional and social circles.

Some spouses react with anger, hurt, and an immediate decision to walk out.

some partners look the other way choosing to stay silent, often due to practical dependencies emotional, financial, or social. And then there are a few rare individuals who choose to forgive. Not because they condone betrayal, but because they believe in healing, in second chances, and in the bigger picture of family and shared life.

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It may sound like an unpopular expression, but I believe there is immense power in pardoning a spouse who has strayed provided they are genuinely remorseful, willing to change, and committed to repairing the damage.

When you forgive, you are not erasing the past, but rather choosing to expand your capacity for love, your commitment to the family, and your belief that human beings, flawed as they are, deserve the chance to redeem themselves.

Look at public figures like Hillary Clinton. Her decision to stand by her husband wasn't a sign of weakness; it was a sign of strategic wisdom.

She had a bigger mission, a longer vision, and understood the value of forgiveness in both personal and public life.

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When forgiveness is genuine, something beautiful happens. The bond deepens. The love matures. Children grow up witnessing resilience instead of revenge. Extended families come together with renewed unity. The environment becomes one of healing grace, and strength.

Yes, divorce and alimony may offer a sense of satisfaction and instant justice. Yes, there are cases where separation is the only healthy choice, especially with abusive or habitual offenders as partners.

But in cases where the cheating partner seeks redemption and the betrayed partner seeks peace, there is something deeply dignified about choosing to stay and rebuild.

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To forgive is not to forget, but it is choosing hope over revenge

And those who do it are often living for something greater than themselves: for their children, for a life they've built over years, for shared dreams that are still worth salvaging.

I know this may sound anti-feminist to some. I know this isn't the popular narrative in a world that celebrates individualism and fast exits. But I've seen firsthand how forgiveness, when given to someone who truly repents, can transform families, intensify bonds, and bring a grace that nothing else can.

It's easier said than done. But those who do it walk a higher path. Not out of naivety, but out of strength.

In the end, forgiveness doesn't make us less but it makes us More loving and More human.

MARRIAGE IS NOT THE END GOAL. ALPHA WOMEN ARE THE REAL DANGER!

 MARRIAGE IS NOT THE END GOAL. ALPHA WOMEN ARE THE REAL DANGER!

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When I first read and watched the news about the missing honeymoon couple from Meghalaya, my heart sank. My immediate thought was that they might have met with a terrible accident or maybe they slipped deep in the jungle, fell into a river, or were tragically attacked by criminals. The possibilities were horrifying to imagine from looting, assault, even murder and beyond a hostage-like situation may emerge.

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When the husband’s body was eventually recovered, a chilling fear gripped me. I couldn’t stop imagining the trauma the wife must have endured witnessing her husband’s murder and possibly being abducted, raped, or killed, or maybe she tried to escape the killers and is lost in the forest looking for help.

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But what none of us could have imagined was the shocking revelation that the wife was complicit in the murder. Knowing that she was forced into the marriage against her wishes may explain her anger, but it does not justify the alleged killing of a husband from a fifteen-day-old marriage.

There were countless other ways to walk away like mutual separation, legal action, or simply voicing her dissent against in-laws claimingg harassment, citing sexual incompatibility, accusing him of being a homosexuala,l anything would have been better than getting him killed.

Instead, this path she took is so dark, so irreversible, it has not only robbed a young man of his life but also betrayed the very fight women have been waging for equality and justice in abusive marriages.

One Alpha woman is enough to bring disrepute to all the genuine cases of abusive marriages.

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This case, like several others in recent years, should serve as a huge wake-up call to Indian parents. We are conditioned to raise our daughters with marriage as the ultimate goal as if their lives are meant to culminate in being “settled.”

It’s like parents are in a hurry to wash their hands off their daughters by marrying them off.

This mindset is deeply damaging and is resulting in such horrific outbursts from girls.....

Marriage is not the destination. It is merely one of life’s many milestones. It may happen, or it may not, and that should be okay. Today’s youth are independent, capable, and have multiple avenues to lead fulfilling lives. If not anything, many young people are happy adopting a pet and living a contented life, if that is their choice so be it!

This tragic case is not just a crime story, it’s a mirror. A brutal reminder that forcing anyone into a life they haven’t chosen can have dangerous consequences. It’s high time we shift the narrative and start raising emotionally intelligent, independent individuals not just good brides or grooms.

Let us start learning Mandarin!

 Let us start learning Mandarin! Congratulations, India, and Cricket fans across the world!

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Once upon a time, Bangalore was the most beautiful city. It was welcoming, warm, full of positive energy, and full of open-hearted people.

Whether you came from Assam, Ahmedabad, Kashmir, or Kerala, Bangalore embraced you. It was India's soft landing spot, especially for young people trying to make a life in a fast-changing world.

I say this as someone who's not from Karnataka but has always admired the culture and, even more so, the Kannadigas I've met. They've been thoughtful, humble, and deeply rooted. That's why this shocks me: Why are they alienating themselves?

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Let's discuss the elephant in the room: the language debate. I don't understand the language tension building up on either side.

Why are some people so aggressively enforcing Kannada on others, and why are some so resistant to learning it?

Learning a new language is always a gift. It never takes away; it only adds.

But forcing a language onto someone breeds resistance. It doesn't create love; it creates fear and defensiveness.

And to the non-Kannadigas, mocking or ignoring a region's language or culture while living there? That's not "cosmopolitanism;" that's arrogance.

Mutual respect is the only way forward. Don't force. Don't reject. Learn what you can. Respect what you can't. It really is that simple.

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Let us now shift gears and discuss the sensitive topic of the RCB mania.

It was a long wait for the cup; yes, it was emotional.

But somewhere along the way, the celebration turned oddly territorial. Suddenly, RCB's victory was "Bangalore's victory" as if the rest of India had no part in it.

Come on.

RCB is a franchise. The players come from across the country and the globe. Kohli, Faf, Siraj, Maxwell, pandya they have fans everywhere. If the victory parade had happened in Kolkata or Gujarat, people there would have celebrated just the same.

So no, Bangalore doesn't "own" RCB. Cricket belongs to all of us.

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Dear Bangalorians pls Don't Build Walls Around Yourself.

You are still the most beautiful people, but only if you stop building fences out of pride.

Don't let pride turn into isolation. Don't mistake cultural confidence for cultural superiority.

You are a vital part of India's story, but you're not the whole story—none of us are. We're only special when we see each other as equals, not rivals.

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If we keep turning against each other over food, festivals, and languages, mind you, we are just making it easier for Pakistan, china or others to divide us further.

It may be time we all signed up for Mandarin classes because, at the rate we're going, we're doing China's job for them.

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Why is the Karnataka government celebrating RCB's victory? What role do they have to play in RCB's success? If anything, their role and job were limited to providing security to the fans and players assembled to enjoy the success. They failed at their basic responsibility of giving the least to the RCB Team and RCB Fans of Banglore.

Condolences to the families who lost their loved ones in the victory parade

Nearing the 50th birthday!!

 For years, I lived for him and her,

For they and them, my life's defer.

No more will I ignore my plea;

It's time to cherish and honor me.

I'll savor that last piece of cake,

No longer save it for the family's sake.

Embarking on a solo quest,

A journey to my inner zest.

An hour each day for yoga's peace,

Inhaling calm, exhaling cease.

The balance of my life now sways

To prioritize it my own ways.

Savings once meant for their need,

Earnings now fund my soul's feed.

Mine to spend, to live, to keep,

To splurge, to give, my heart's leap.

Breaking bonds of service tight,

Liberating my spirit's light.

Emotions' threads no longer bind,

My soul seeks freedom, unconfined.

Monotony's chains I now defy,

Yearning to soar, to touch the sky.

Embracing turbulence, I glide,

Connecting with life's vibrant tide.

Up and down, I ride the breeze,

Engaging with the world, I seize.

Touching lives along my flight,

Ensuring my journey ends bright.

Will call it a life well-lived if I succeed in giving nothing a miss

Silver anniversaries and beyond

 Silver anniversaries and beyond..

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It has been raining weddings here, ERR wedding anniversaries.

Since my peers have entered the  Silver Jubilee bracket, it has become a never-ending saga of sangeet, haldi, wine and vows for all of us.

COVID-19 was a downer, but a post-COVID era, we all are back into the game with renewed intensity and enthusiasm.

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I believe the longer we remain married, the louder should be the parties.

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They need to celebrate the silver anniversaries and beyond:

 

They stood the test of time.

They have left an example to society on how to make relations last.

Their struggle with finances and time management did not come in the way of providing the best for their children and each other's families. 

However rough the journey was they did take part in the highs and lows of each other.

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They need to celebrate :

To bring closure to bad times, for they might have cheated on each other for a brief period but got back together for the good of it.

They may have had difficulty accommodating each other's families, but eventually made amends.

They might have had issues with overspending, under-spending,  and other portfolio management decisions. One partner might have earned less or not at all but contributed by taking care of the home front while the other focused on making ends meet.

They might have found a middle ground for the divergent political opinions, religious customs and caste equations.

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They need to celebrate because 

They fought day and night on issues as mundane as who should be the PM of the country, whether Ram mandir should be constructed or not, Arnab or Rajdeep Sardesai, and Dabang vs Interstellar, but the following morning, she served him tea while he made the bed,  and then they called it a new day.

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In this new world of fragile relations where couples are falling apart over issues as silly as the choice of entertainment, disagreement of where to party the weekend, or which place to go on a holiday a beach or mountains. They are not ready to forgive the toilet manners. The men still today do not know the etiquette of a Western commode.

 They are not able to tolerate each other's growth and be happy with others' success as they have made everything very competitive and that competitive spirit is creeping into their interpersonal space too.

The couples are falling to distractions and are not ready to pardon and let it go. In this world of instant gratification, waiting is not an option, anything which requires patience is a big turnoff. 

They cannot stand criticism of anything, too sensitive, too self-centred and extremely selfish. Not ready to accommodate anything which is out of their comfort zone hence we see so many failing marriages. 

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Amidst such challenging times, we must cheer for the senior couples who are ready to renew their vows to celebrate their marriages and honour the sacred union.  

Let us be their enthusiastic sidekicks by joining the party to make it filmy and colourful.

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We cannot take the  Benevolence of time for granted. The next year may not be the same, and one of them may not be there, so no procrastination grab the mike to announce your grandparents or parents' wedding anniversary, The onus is on the younger generation to make the seniors in the family feel special.

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The shy ones like me will hesitate to stay under the spotlight or celebrate it loud and make it a bash, so we quietly sneak into an ancient temple to take our vows, do facilitate such options too, take it up actively, book nice resort for your parents send them to a place of their choice.

Just honour them for being together for a multitude of reasons,

It may be because they were naturally in love always, or to save the honour of their parents, or for society, for the children, for security, for money or maybe for the sake of all the assets (both tangible and intangible)  they created jointly.

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Knowing the flaws and failures of a person It isn't an easy option to share personal space for donkey years.

Hence the couple needs to be goaded, lauded and celebrated till "death do them part".

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Last week my friend Monica Prasadhosted an amazing, exciting extravaganza for her silver wedding anniversary and this weekend my maternal aunt and uncle  Manu Rama and Rama Reddys golden anniversary is scheduled for a mega bash. 

Their children Rakesh Reddy  Ranjit Reddy Arpitha Reddy Renu Reddy  Reddy Aradhana are planning an evening full of fun and family times.

so looking forward to this and each of them moving forward.

A Sustainable Alternative to Brick Wall Fencing: Lemongrass as a Natural Boundary

 A Sustainable Alternative to Brick Wall Fencing:  Lemongrass as a Natural Boundary

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During a family discussion on constructing a boundary wall around the new farm to safeguard trees from cattle and other herbivores, I proposed an alternative...

Instead of building a conventional concrete or wire fence, I suggested creating a natural, functional, and visually appealing green boundary using lemongrass . The husband supported the idea, and I initiated the plantation.

Within six months, the lemongrass plants had established themselves aggressively along the periphery of the farm. The dense clumps formed a continuous natural barrier that now serves multiple purposes.

 The natural fence is now   deterring the entry of cattle, goats, and other herbivores due to its dense and aromatic foliage. Also, the leaves have subtle sharp edges that cause injury if not handled gently, or if someone tries to barge into the farm through the plants.

 Lemongrass contains citronella, a natural repellent of insects and pests. It releases a pleasant citrus scent, enhancing the experience and contributing to a healthier environment. The leaves are  also used in cooking and traditional medicine, making the boundary not just protective but also productive.

This green boundary is a sustainable, low-maintenance solution that aligns with eco-friendly agricultural practices.

A single lemongrass plant ordered online turned out to be a quiet miracle. From one plant, it propagated into what feels like a billion offshoots. 

Beyond our farm, it has extended its beauty to a friend's pond, providing a natural, ornamental edge that blends beautifully into the landscape.

Truly, Nature is a miracle in itself!

#farmlife  #FarmHacks #lemongrass #naturalfencing

We Are All Fighting a Battle Unknown

 We Are All Fighting a Battle Unknown

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In the bustling heart of deogarh the temple town, amidst the dhua of agarbatties and light of artis and the murmured prayers, a quiet truth floats through the air—unspoken, yet deeply felt. 

Every person here is carrying something. A wound. A hope. A silent prayer.

The auto driver navigating the chaos of pilgrims. The man at the shoe stand, quietly collecting and returning pairs without fuss. The beggar, hand outstretched, eyes hollow. The pilgrims jostling for a glimpse of the divine. The panda guiding with professional hands, the pandit chanting with wavering focus, the co-devotee brushing past you whispering mantras in every language known—they are all here for something.

For some, it is livelihood. For others, it is like submitting an application—to the universe, to the divine, to fate. 

For a few, it feels like reporting for duty, fulfilling a long overdue obligation. And for many, it’s an offering of gratitude, a return to the source after having received.

But behind each face is a story unknown. Each heart carries pain alien to the next. We are all wounded in different ways. Some of us wear our strength like armor, moving forward with heads held high. Others falter, give in, or retreat into themselves.

Still, all of us are in a hurry—to be seen, to be heard, to be helped, to be reassured that things will be alright.

And yet, strangely, we have no time for one another.

Perhaps what we need, more than miracles or answered prayers, is a moment of stillness. A breath. A gesture of patience. A listening ear. An open heart.

Because while our battles are different, the pain is the same.

And sometimes, healing begins simply by acknowledging that we’re all fighting something similar.